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Wk 36..."The Show Must Go On"

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+LostBeggining+
(@lostbeggining)
Reputable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 197
Topic starter  

Sorry...not sure if i captured the imagery enuff :( ...i kinda wrote it as a metaphor...for someone who is different in their normal surroundings (back stage/ off stage) than they are in front of others (on stage).....yeah....

"The Show Must Go On"

Behind the red velvet curtains
That hide your world of disguise
An opera of dillusion
A blanket of dancing lights
You prepare for the moment
In the gaze of a thousand eyes
Just hope your playing the right part
Before its too late to change your mind

And the show must go on
Just choose your way to fall
And see through the grey mask
Before the curtain call

This fashion of deception
In a whole world of lies
When jokers become jesters
Filling the void of all you deny
In the balconys of gold
Where they hear your every line
As a scream out to the world
In your thearte of shadowed lies

And the show must go on
Just choose your way to fall
And see through the grey mask
Before the curtain call

Rain Shadow


   
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guitargeek
(@guitargeek)
Reputable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 281
 

hey there! I like the title a lot, it sets the song off for a great start.

overall i thought the song was brilliant, there were a few 'cliche' lines such as...

That hide your world of disguise

but you followed them up briliantly with lines like..

In the gaze of a thousand eyes
Just hope your playing the right part
Before its too late to change your mind

And the chorus is great coz it really sums up the song and thats so important and rare because a good chorus that stays on point, is sometimes hard to find!


   
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Joe
 Joe
(@joe)
Honorable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 504
 

I AGREE, YOU HAVE SOME REALLY NICE LINES IN HERE. YOU MIGHT WANNA CHANGE DILLUSION TO DELUSION...UNLESS YOU WERE PURPOSELY PLAYING ON THE WORD AND I MISSED IT. OTHERWISE, NICE. AS FOR IMAGERY, IT'S MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU MAKE ME SEE THAN WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DESCRIBE, AND YOU DID THAT GREAT. NICE JOB.

JOE


   
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pbee
 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Hi LB,

Me too, I like the lines you've written here but Im not quite sure what your trying to say. Ive got an idea from the verses but I want you to nail it home for me in the chorus. Then I think this would be a great song. Well done :D .

Pb


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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Olav
 Olav
(@olav)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 150
 

LostB

Brilliant….One thing to consider.....
Last line of verse 1. Cut the word “before” and make the line read “It's too late to change your mind”. That way it sounds more like a statement. If you need a word there to make it fit the rhythm, maybe use the word “because” instead. I believe this may fit better to the overall of the lyric. Just a thought.
Very impressive. :D
Blessings.
Olav


   
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lotto king
(@lotto-king)
Prominent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 777
 

Hi LB

Well done , it was nice to read your lyrics about the ordinary everyday people who make the show go on instead of the stars all the time .

I say well done keep up this creative writting your good :wink:

cheers

L.K :arrow:

Aghhhh

Not only am I a senior citizen

I'm now a bloody senior member

Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?

over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )


   
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sfdean
(@sfdean)
Eminent Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 23
 

I really liked this.

It seemed...haunting. (In a good way. And I don't often go for obscure. Vagueness is not the same as depth. So you did really well with a tough audience, here.)

And I liked the title/hook "the show must go on". I think it captures both the surface metaphor (stage show) and the underlying theme of deception, continued. A really nice example of the use of a common phrase with a twist. (A phenomenal number of great songs are built around just that one skill--the ability to take a common phrase and give it a twist or new meaning.)

Nice work--keep it up.

SfDean.

Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny--Frank Zappa.
Who smells funny now?--Jazz


   
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