I've never really experienced anything like a hurricane, but I have seen some pretty crazy lightning displays in the desert around eastern california, western nevada/arizona. And since I love the desert so much I tried to combine the two.
Rattlers and Demons
-by BJM
Thunderheads are giant ghosts,
patrolling the horizon.
Broke-down cars in a dried-up wash,
rattlesnakes and demons.
Michael son of neon lies,
said winter was the season.
When cracked earth cared and desert wind,
whispered all their reasons.
[chorus]
I just want to hear the sound
of rain drops on dry ground.
--
Wash away
my life today,
or tomorrow might never come.
Drown my hate
in desert rain,
where outlaws come undone.
Mesas become waterfalls,
coyotes learn to swim.
I turn around and drive back home,
To say goodbye again.
[bridge or outro?]
This wasteland is so beautiful,
a sun-baked state of mind.
And if I ever stop to think,
May lightning strike my soul and
bring me back to life.
[chorus]
May lightning strike my soul and
bring me back to life.
hey sunset.
seems you can take the pressure:))
yet another very good song.
only thing...the part following your first chorus('wash away' till 'undone') and 'May lightning strike my soul and
bring me back to life.' seem slightly wrong to me(can't say why..could be just me..it's not so that you would have to take it out, by no means..)
I adore these:
I just want to hear the sound
of rain drops on dry ground.
a sun-baked state of mind.
thanks for putting a smile on my face:)
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
seems you can take the pressure:))
here here.
This is quite well done. I think I tend to aim more toward telling a story when I sit down to write a song, but this piece is more of a description of how you feel when you're out there, which is a really terrific angle to take. I thought these lines were fantastic:
Drown my hate
in desert rain,
where outlaws come undone.
Thanks,
-- Scratch 8)
nice work! i havent read any of your stuff before and i really liked this.
i felt like i lost the rhythm in a couple of place, but that aside some really good lines
especially
Michael son of neon lies,
said winter was the season.
When cracked earth cared and desert wind,
whispered all their reasons.
look forward to reading more
sozay
currently number 60 in total posts... and shooting for number 1!!
Sunsetninja,
Although I live in the Northeast where we don't have much desert I was lucky enough to see a storm when visiting New Mexico a couple of years ago. You really caught the feel of it.
"This wasteland is so beautiful,
a sun-baked state of mind.
And if I ever stop to think,
May lightning strike my soul and
bring me back to life. "
I may have to come back and reread this when the snow starts piling up on us here.
Celt
Thunderheads are giant ghosts,
patrolling the horizon.
Broke-down cars in a dried-up wash,
rattlesnakes and demons.
Wow, that's a real attention grabber.....lovely mood piece, this, really descriptive.......you've got me running for cover!!!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)