Here's my attempt. I don't have time to refine it right now, but you'll get the idea. The title is a clue. I took the rhythm and rhyming pattern from an old song. Both rhythm and rhyme are unusual.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=11224331
Renee
Hi Renee,
Sounding good :D I like these lines a lot:
Death is leanin' on my shoulder.
Man, oh, Man, it's killing me. :wink: ....nice chord change on the "killing me"
When the music stinks, they say "what's that smell?" :lol:
I don't have a clue on the original :roll:
Thanks for sharing :D Keep up the good work on posting weekly!
James
Now it can be revealed. I based this "original" song on "Ma, He's Kissing Me." I even adapted a few of the lines. Here's a link to that song:
Renee
Hey, I liked it.
Hi!
Glad to see you posted (and a recording, too) despite being busy! I'll try keep doing that, too :)
Like James, I love this bit:
Every minute I get older.
Death is leanin' on my shoulder.
Man, oh, Man, it's killing me.
Deadly (no pun intended :lol: ) writing! Like how it moves from "death" to "killing", brilliant and funny! :D
Also like this:
If they listen at all,
They hear me yell.
Especially because of the paradox of people only being able to hear sb yell if they listen to that person :D
Didn't know the original so never would've guessed.. did have a vague resemblance to "Something Stupid" in my ears though (not even public domain, that one, I think :wink: ).
Cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin