I'm posting this one without even looking back at it once....pure stream-of-consciousness writing. Got the first couple of lines, started typing, and....just went with the flow. It'll probably need a few changes making here and there....but I think I got a couple of nice quotes in there, and a couple of pop culture references...
Musically, I'm thinking along the lines of Primal Scream's "Rocks Off" - very Rolling Stones influenced, IMO. And when WASN'T I influenced by Mick'n'Keef? Even indirectly?
Power Corrupts
Lawyers keep lying, doctors dealing,
Politicians cheat while accountants are stealing,
Despotic dictators, totally corrupt,
Prime Ministers and Presidents, morally bankrupt.
Cops on the take, judges are for sale,
Dirty money'll keep you away from jail,
Good men are guilty for just standing by,
While the Generals send good men to die.
With great power comes great responsibility,
But power corrupts, and absolute power, corrupts absolutely...
It's hard for an honest man to get by,
Whilst those who govern him do nothing but lie,
It's getting harder and harder to recognise,
Just exactly who are the good guys?
With great power comes great responsibility,
But power corrupts, and absolute power, corrupts absolutely...
For evil to triumph, it's only necessary,
For good men to ignore what's in front of their eyes,
Good people been down on their knees for way too long,
Surely it's time for one good man to rise?
One man CAN make a difference.....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hi Vic,
Good start :D The beginning flows nicely but then the V2 shifts off topic a bit and the V3 shifts off topic a bit more...Maybe it's a matter of renaming the title to something like "Absolutely"....then the choruses could be a call respond set up
With great power comes great responsibility,
Response shout: Absolutely!
But power corrupts,
Response shout: Absolutely!
power corrupts,
Response shout: Absolutely!
power corrupts,
Response shout: Absolutely!
and absolute power, corrupts absolutely...
Then after v2
We want a good guy
Absolutely!
.....etc....
and after v3
One man CAN make a difference.....
Absolutely!
Absolutely!
Absolutely!
etc.....
or if you want to stick with the original title and chorus, put a twist on the line and say
With great power comes great(ER) CORRUPTION,
BECAUSE power corrupts, and absolute power, corrupts absolutely...
Just some thoughts.
James
Hi Vic,
I'm reading Keefs autobiography "Life" at the moment, what a great read.
I like most of your song but to be honest I don't really like the chorus. To me it feels awkward and a little trite and moralistic. Not in keeping with the "dirty" lyrics of the verses.
If this was mine I would build a new "gritty" chorus around this line "Just exactly who are the good guys?" (great line). Where you can allude to power versus corruption in your own words.
I think this song has some real potential with a bit of work :D .
cheers
Paul
I'm not sure if this was your intention but when I read it, I thought of Gotham City (Batman). The verses were great and make a strong political statement.
I'm not sure the chorus though. I agree with Jame's suggestions or just not have a chorus and have just verses.
"In what, twisted universe does mastering Eddie Van Halen's two handed arpeggio technique count as ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?!" - Dr Gregory House
Some good suggestions there - going to have to have a radical rethink about this one. Damn, I really liked that chorus....those two quotes were how the song got started. Playing this through, though, seems to flow nicely as it it is....
Bobbi...good to see you back! How's life treating you these days? Well, I hope...
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Doesn't mean it can't be a chorus for a different song.
Another idea, though (and especially since you seem to like the flow of it), might be to make it into a bridge. Using it once, without or without James' suggestion (which I very much like, by the way), might make the whole thing work. This song reminds me a lot of Baba O'Reilly, so I've got that song's structure more in my head at the moment and your chorus would certainly work as a bridge in that specific structure.
It's not as though the verses aren't driving the point home. Maybe, though, you could use your last verse:
For evil to triumph, it's only necessary,
For good men to ignore what's in front of their eyes,
Good people been down on their knees for way too long,
Surely it's time for one good man to rise?
as a chorus? Going with a strong, positive last line instead of a question, perhaps:
It's long past time for one good man to rise
could make the song even more anthem-like.
Definitely looking forward to however this turns out.
Peace
