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Y12 W14....Dancing With Ghosts.


(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 10340
Topic starter  

Bit of a strange song for me, this one. I was messing around with open A earlier this afternoon, came up with some chords I liked, and starting writing lyrics to fit the music. Usually, it's the other way round....

Anyway, I tried another little experiment....see if you can work it out from the lyrics.

Oh, and it's going to be a very slow song, with some haunting (sorry!) organ, and slide guitar as well as the open chords.

Dancing With Ghosts

Dancing with ghosts, the ghosts of the past,
Though the past is dead, the dead don't weep.
Spectres of truth, the truth haunts my dreams,
My dreams are of ghosts who don't let me sleep.

Dancing with ghosts, ghosts who won't leave,
Passing a message, a message for me.
My nights are haunted, and haunted I'll stay,
I'll stay in the past till the ghosts are free.

Dancing with ghosts, for the very last time,
Time to erase them from my mind,
I've danced with them nightly for way too long,
Time to be dancing to a different song.

I danced with ghosts, but the ghosts are gone,
Gone back to the past, the past is where they'll stay,
The ghosts are no more, no more in my dreams,
My dreams of tomorrow, and a better day.

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 2852
 

Hi Vic,

Good start :D I like the repetition of words. On a read it gets a bit tedious, but musically, it's a great way to bring emphasis to an idea.

So you have a transition from torment to healing, but leave out what is probably most relevant which is what happened? What caused the change?

Thanks for sharing.

James


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(@hobson)
Prominent Member
Joined: 12 years ago
Posts: 794
 

Drugs? That's a semi-serious question. Suddenly the teller is cured. He can sleep. The ghosts don't come back. Or maybe it's not drugs, but therapy or religion or the act of writing the song or simply the passage of time.

I like it a lot, but don't much like this line: "Though the past is dead, the dead don't weep." Is this implying that the person telling the story is weeping? I would suggest "Though the past is dead, the dead won't leave." Of course that means reworking the next verse.

Renee


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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 2097
 

This is good Vic,
I'm ok with the "Dead don't weep .." line, for me it sets up and emotional context which is all good. Also I'm not too worried why the change of state, could be drugs could be something darker. I guess that leaves you with some room to expand the song maybe a bridge if you wanted to.

cheers
Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


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(@chefie)
Honorable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 553
 

Hi Vic,

Nice to have you back! Great topic this week. One question comes to mind . . . .

In the first verse you write
the truth haunts my dreams

You never mention this again and it would seem to me that there needs to be some resolution to this before the ghosts go back to the past. The resolution appears to be the passage of time . . . . . . and just not sure how that relates to "the truth."

I also agree with Hobson about your line "the dead don't weep." Maybe it's that the dead can't weep?

Neil


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 KR2
(@kr2)
Famed Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 2725
 

Hey Vic
Been a long time since I posted.
Glad to see you're songwriting.

I like what you've done here.
It would be nice to hear that.

I noticed you have the second and fourth lines rhyming
all except in the third verse.
Maybe switching the second and third verse to keep it consistent?

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.


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(@davidhodge)
Member Moderator
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 4485
 

Hi Vic

I like the intensity of this, which setting the narrative so that it seems to take place over ages but could simply be one night's dream definitely helps. Open A certainly will be interesting but you also might consider trying open A minor (tune whatever string you've got at C# down to C), which will make it perhaps more haunting.

Looking forward to hearing this.

Peace


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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 10340
Topic starter  

Thanks all for your comments. Been a bit busy this week, haven't had a lot of time to spare....will catch up tomorrow. However, just to clear a couple of things up...

This song is a bit of a departure for me...it's more of a mood piece than a narrative. I did have a story in mind as I was writing, but I tried to leave it deliberately vague, let the reader interpret the lyrics however he/she wants to. Hope that clears up James' point.

PBee and KR2 (nice to see you back, Ken!) - there IS a bridge already, it's the 3rd verse / stanza / section / whatever you want to call it....that's why it's structurally slightly different from the other three verses.

David - I've actually gone off the idea of the open tuning, I'm using different voicings of E D G and A chords in standard tuning....well that's how it started! The E is now an E5 chord....0 7 9 9 0 0, D is now Dadd9...x 0 7 7 7 0, A is now Aadd9 - 5 7 7 6 0 0 - and G is now G5...3 5 5 0 3 3. There's also a C6 (or Am7) chord....0 0 5 5 5 0...trying to worm its way in somewhere! It's getting complicated.....

...but sounding something like the original idea I had. The different voicings seem to make a big, well, difference...!

I'll keep working on this till I'm satisfied with it. There's still something missing, but I'm not sure what....

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


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(@davidhodge)
Member Moderator
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 4485
 

Don't forget the old "move the E5 power chord around" trick. Move it down two frets (x57700) for D69, down two more (x35500) for Cmaj7, down one more (x24400) for Bsus4 and in open position (x02200) for Asus2.

Sounds like you're going to have a very intriguing sounding song.

Peace


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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 10340
Topic starter  

Don't forget the old "move the E5 power chord around" trick.

Hmm....I didn't actually KNOW that one....time for a little further experimentation. I like the sound of those chords...especially with a droning open bottom E string! I shall add those to my repertoire NOW!

Thank you yet again, David!

:D :D :D

Vic

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


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