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Y12, W8 - Two Of Clubs.


(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 10340
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I suppose this song comes from (a) my somewhat reduced circumstances, and (b) my predeliction for turning an assignment/topic/ suggestion on its head. Thia isn't actually too far from the way I'm feeeling right now - and if I could afford a decent acoustic guitar (well, actually ANY acoustic guitar!) I probably would be tempted to go out and join the ranks of the buskers.....

Two of Clubs.

I'm not royalty, I'm not the king of clubs,
I earn my living busking outside pubs...

It's hard to make three square meals a day,
And my dog needs feeding too,
But I'm trying my best to make to make ends meet,
Even if I have to miss a meal or two...

I'm not royalty, I'm a working man,
I wake up to the same old old plan....

It's hard to make three square meals a day,
And my dog needs feeding too,
But I'm trying my best to make to make ends meet,
Even if I have to miss a meal or two...

A new guitar is way way out of my reach,
I'm having a hard time tryin' to make ends meet,
But I could be so rich if they'd just listen to my songs,
They're all songs about "where the hell did I go wrong?

I'm not royalty, I'm just a two of clubs,
A broke-down old wreck playing ouside pubs.....

:-) :-) :-)

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 2852
 

Hi Vic,

Good start. :D I got a sense of the singer being down and out, but I feel the connection to the title could be strengthened; also the rational/reference to where Two Of Clubs is considered in such a bad light.

Thanks for sharing.

James


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(@john-sargent)
Prominent Member
Joined: 12 years ago
Posts: 948
 

I'm not a big fan of using homophones as rhymes. I like your basic idea but suspect the chorus could be strengthened.
The two of clubs has the least power in the deck?


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(@davidhodge)
Member Moderator
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 4485
 

The two of clubs is the first card played in any game of bridge or hearts. Guaranteed not to take any hands but can be very strategically important.

I get the thoughts and the sentiment involved, Vic, but I can't help thinking you could make a huge twist in the lyric's intent (and where the true power is held) by changing a pronoun in your bridge:

A new guitar is way way out of my reach,
I'm having a hard time tryin' to make ends meet,
But you'd be so much richer if you'd just listen to my songs,
They're all songs about "where the hell did I go wrong?

Of course, that may not be where you want to go but it does turn the "poor me" into "poor me but poorer you" quite nicely.

Looking forward to hearing this at some point.

Peace


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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 10340
Topic starter  

A new guitar is way way out of my reach,
I'm having a hard time tryin' to make ends meet,
But you'd be so much richer if you'd just listen to my songs,
They're all songs about "where the hell did I go wrong?

Hmmm... I like what you did with that, David.... but how about,

"But we'd all be so much richer If you'd learn from my wrongs,
They're all documented step-by-step in the songs...."

Or, to get a bit more cynical,

"But we'd all be so much richer If you'd learn from my wrongs,
And bought the album and the t-shirt and the sheet music and my songs?"

Food for thought....

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


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(@davidhodge)
Member Moderator
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 4485
 

Not that I'm not much of a cynic, but I like the first idea better than the second. Maybe smooth it out a bit:

"But we'd all be so much richer If you'd learn from my wrongs,
All spelled out step-by-step in the lyrics of my songs...."

Or some such.

The second idea, while definitely good, I simply have a hard time believing it comes from a musical narrator. Not that a musician wouldn't think that, but most of the ones I know, and practically all that I "meet" on the Internet, while talking the talk about royalties and such rarely practice what they preach. So maybe it's the cynic in me who is even more cynical about that lyric meaning all that much!

More to the point, the narrator of this song, at least up 'til this line, didn't strike me as one who'd even be able to put together an album or the funds to make a T shirt. If you give him / her more of a backstory, perhaps one that hinted at being a been-to-the-top-now-here-I-am-busking kind of rise, then, sure.

But I'm still more in favor of the first one.

Happy Christmas, Vic. My biggest wish is to hear more songs from you in 2014. And the rest of the 2010s, for that matter.

Peace


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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 10340
Topic starter  

Thanks again, David! Hopefully, in a few weeks time, I'll have a little money to spare and should be able to treat myself to a few odds and sods so's I can start recording again. And then there's FAWM in February - tried it for the first time last year at Shady Wilbury's suggestion, didn't manage the 14 songs but I got up to nine in what was a pretty fallow period. I'll try a little harder this year!

Got a fair bit of practice in lately, fingers are getting used to the guitar again and those chord changes are getting really smooth - and the lead guitar, at which I was never any great shakes, is coming on pretty well.

May have a few surprises for you, musically speaking, from about the middle of January! Fingers crossed......

Oh, and as always, thanks for your generous comments and encouragement!

:D :D :D

Vic

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


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(@andygetch)
Reputable Member
Joined: 10 years ago
Posts: 328
 

Hey Vic,
I like the premise and the contrast between kings and buskers. I like Dave's suggestion too, and shifting the focus. After reading several times a thought occurs that I wonder how substituting "I'm not royalty" with "Hey listen to me" might work in one or more of the verses. It probably depends on the music you have in mind. Just a thought, either way it's your song and I look forward to hearing it.
Andy

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1228093


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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 2097
 

HI Vic,

this is my take on your bridge
A new guitar is way way out of my reach,
I'm having a hard time tryin' to make ends meet,
Yeah we'd all be much richer if you'd just listen to my songs,
They're songs about life about right about wrong

Reinforces your idea that if he gets some air play everyone's a winner.
The last line being more philosophical versus "poor me" if you know what I mean.

Anyway just my cents to throw in your hat.

cheers

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


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