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Y12W38 Did He Mention?

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jamestoffee
(@jamestoffee)
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Y12W38 Did He Mention? (To be sung by a woman)

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12861752

=====Revised Version 2=====

Did he mention you look stunning with that black dress on?
Did he mention saying your name was the sweetest of songs?
Did he mention you complete him as you danced in his arms?
Cause he never mentioned you to me

Did he mention you're the spotlight in the crowded room?
Did he mention he needs you like the tides need the moon?
Did he mention how he loved you bending down on one knee?
Cause he never mentioned you to me

solo

Did he mention he couldn’t live if I ever caught him cheat?
Cause he never mentioned you to me
No, he never mentioned you to me

=====Revised Version 1=====

Did he mention you look stunning with that black dress on?
Did he mention saying your name was the sweetest of songs?
Did he mention you complete him as you danced in his arms?
Cause he never mentioned you to me

Did he mention he only has eyes for you?
Did he mention he needs you like the tides need the moon?
Did he mention how he loved you bending down on one knee?
Cause he never mentioned you to me

solo

Did he mention he couldn’t live if I ever caught him cheat?
Cause he never mentioned you to me
No, he never mentioned you to me

=====Original Version=====
Did he mention you look stunning with that black dress on?
Did he mention saying your name was the sweetest of songs?
Did he mention you complete him as you danced in his arms?
Cause he never mentioned you to me

Did he mention you’re the only one he sees when you’re in the room?
Did he mention that he needs you like the tides need the moon?
Did he mention how he loved you bending down on one knee?
Cause he never mentioned you to me

solo

Did he mention he couldn't live if I ever caught him cheat?
Cause he never mentioned you to me
No, he never mentioned you to me


   
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John Sargent
(@john-sargent)
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Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 946
 

I like both versions. "Only has eyes for you" is a cliché but what the H....
Cliche's happen


   
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jamestoffee
(@jamestoffee)
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Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Hi John,
Cliche's happen
Agreed.

The other line....
you’re the only one he sees when you’re in the room......

was a mouthful to sing and meant the same thing as the cliche, so I was going for simple since the mouthful line didn't add any twist or new insight and the cliche was easier to sing.

...but I could still be swayed to swap the lines if they aren't working at some point.

Thanks for the listen and feedback :D

James


   
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pbee
 pbee
(@pbee)
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Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Hi James

I think the cliche works perfectly in the context of the situation. Sounds like the kind of line this guy would likely come out with.
Good work James

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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jamestoffee
(@jamestoffee)
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Hi Paul,
I think the cliche works perfectly in the context of the situation.

That's what I was thinking too.

Thanks for the listen and feedback :D

James


   
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Hobson
(@hobson)
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Posts: 794
 

James, if you decide that you don't like the cliche, how about this:

Did he mention that he only looks at you

or

Did he mention that his eyes only look at you

Renee


   
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jamestoffee
(@jamestoffee)
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Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Hi Renee,

Thanks for the suggestions. Another line that might be too far of a stretch could be:

Did he mention he's the dish and you're the silver spoon.


   
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jamestoffee
(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Poof another attempt at fixing the cliche :mrgreen:
Did he mention you're the spotlight in the crowded room?


   
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