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Y13W18 Birth Certificate


(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 2855
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Y13W18 Birth Certificate

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13063701

You, you’ve been living a lie
You’ve been living a lie all your life

Your father left you to die
He left you to die on a mountainside

Chorus
I found your birth certificate
I found your birth certificate
But you might not want to know what it says

You were found by shepherds
Raised in Corinth; had a good life

You, you don’t know your father
You don’t want to kill him or make your mother your wife

chorus 2X

Be careful who you meet on the road
Be careful what you win from what you know
‘Cause you don’t know

chorus 2X
No, you might not want to know what it says
No, you might not want to know what it says
No, you might not want to know


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(@grungesunset)
Reputable Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 344
 

Lyrically, I like it as it's pretty simple and bare bones. It definitely works. Reading the lyrics, I hear a slow a slow soft ballad.

I did give the song a listen to and the tempo was faster than what I was expecting but it works. The brass in the intro is a nice touch. The only thing I'd suggest is more contrast between the verses and the chorus. If that makes any sense. It feels like the song is building up when going into the chorus but then sounds the same as the verses.

Overall good song!

"In what, twisted universe does mastering Eddie Van Halen's two handed arpeggio technique count as ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?!" - Dr Gregory House


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(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Hi GrungeSunset,
I'd suggest is more contrast between the verses and the chorus.
Great observation! I used the same chord progression for both vs and ch; which I don't usually do and wouldn't suggest; guess I wasn't thinking about it.....

POOF Changes made...new chords and melody in the verses.

Thanks for the listen and post :D

James


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