Skip to content

Forum

Y13W48 Moon‏ Over C...
 
Notifications
Clear all

Y13W48 Moon‏ Over Cat Sanova


(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Y13W48 Moon‏ Over Cat Sanova

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13220358

=====Revised Version=====

I’ll sing a tune
Sing a tune to the moon
I’ll make you swoon
When you hear me croon

Perched on your fence
It’s with full confidence
You’ll have no defense
When I commence

Chorus
When the moon’s over Cat Sanova
I know you feel lonely; it’s alright
When the moon’s over Cat Sanova
The moon and I will keep you up all night

Instrumental

chorus

No one denies
Cats will tend to vocalize
See those feline eyes
Glow in the night

Now it’s sunrise
See the bags under your eyes
I won’t apologize
But for now goodbye

chorus

=====Original Version=====
I’ll sing a tune
Sing a tune to the moon
I’ll make you swoon
When you hear me croon

Perched on your fence
It’s with full confidence
You’ll have no defense
When I commence

Chorus
When the moon’s over Cat Sanova
I know you feel lonely; it’s alright
When the moon’s over Cat Sanova
The moon and I will keep you up all night

Instrumental

chorus

No one denies
Cats will tend to vocalize
See those feline eyes
Glow in the night

For now goodbye
See the bags under your eyes
Though it’s sunrise
I won’t apologize

chorus


Quote
(@davidhodge)
Member Moderator
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 4485
 

Cute

Like the feel very much (wondering both why and how you came up with the measure of five beats for the first lines of the choruses - unexpected but it was something I found myself looking forward to with each listen) and very nice job on the solo. Simple and elegantly played.'

Wondering if it might be worth reordering the lines of the last half of the second verse:
For now goodbye
See the bags under your eyes
Though it’s sunrise
I won’t apologize

For whatever reason I like the idea of the "for now goodbye" being the closing line. It's both cute and ominous at the same time. Maybe like this:
And with the sunrise
See the bags under your eyes
I won’t apologize
But for now goodbye

Just a thought.

Thanks - I'll be singing this under the moon in a few hours!

Peace


ReplyQuote
(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Hi David,
wondering both why and how you came up with the measure of five beats for the first lines of the choruses
It wasn't a conscious effort on my part. I was just going with what sounded good.
For whatever reason I like the idea of the "for now goodbye" being the closing line.
Yes, I did have that set up like that originally, but I didn't like the misplaced stress on sunRISE when it's naturally spoken SUNrise.....but I guess it kind of works to rise in pitch when you sing the word "rise" :?

POOF changes made
Now it’s sunrise
See the bags under your eyes
I won’t apologize
But for now goodbye

Thanks as always for the listens, posts and assignments :D

BTW I might be at the end of my chance to post weekly. The good news is I got accepted into an Ed.D. TESOL program I'll be joining mid-October. The bad news is there goes about 20 hours a week towards studies for the next 3 years.

...just to let you know if I'm not around much more, it's nothing personal. This has been a great learning experience and a real joy the last 7 years writing a song-a-week and interacting with so many songwriters around the world

-James


ReplyQuote
(@john-sargent)
Prominent Member
Joined: 12 years ago
Posts: 948
 

Congratulations on your new position. It's been fun reading and listening to your work.


ReplyQuote
(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Thanks for the encouragement, John :D


ReplyQuote
(@chefie)
Honorable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 553
 

Add my congrats, too, James. Your contributions to this forum will be missed.

Neil


ReplyQuote
(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Thanks, Neil :D

It's been great getting to know you through your songs.

Thanks for sharing.

James


ReplyQuote
(@hobson)
Prominent Member
Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 794
 

James, I haven't posted anything myself lately. Life has gotten in the way. I have learned a lot from your critiques and have been amazed that you are able to come up with something that ranges from pretty darn good to excellent every week. Hope to see you around here now and then.

Congratulations on your acceptance into the program. It will be a lot of work that will pay off in the long run.

Renee


ReplyQuote
(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Thanks, Renee. I've enjoyed sharing this songwriting journey with you and watching your growth at SSG :D

-James


ReplyQuote