Hey, I finally got one "finished." It has been a long time.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=13243477
verse
I miss the pleasure of routines
Like coffee in the morning.
You're set off by the smallest things.
It happens without warning.
chorus
I never got to say good-bye
To the lover that I knew.
At night I lay me down to cry
Next to what's left of you.
verse
You used to be a clever man.
Your mind was like a sponge.
Now it more resembles shifting sand.
You can't remember lunch.
chorus
verse
I hide your keys so you don't drive,
Make sure you have your phone.
Don't like to let you out of sight,
Will you find your way home?
chorus
Renee
It's a sad story. Alzheimer's is wicked. Glad that you finished a song.
John, thanks for taking the time to comment. The song was inspired by several friends who have found themselves in this situation. My mother-in-law, who passed away years ago, also had Alzheimer's that was much more advanced.
Renee
There is real heart to the story in this song, and I am humbled that you'd share it so publicly. You have captured some of the small details of how dementia illnesses affect the lives of those around the person with the illness.
Of all of the song, I'd say that verse 2 (the "clever man") verse is the weakest - while I think the end line is a very strong way to turn the verse around, I do wonder how this verse might play with someone suffering dementia who hadn't previously been considered as clever. To make it more universal, I'd consider re-writing this. But, maybe making it more universal misses the point.
Either way, I think you've written something unique and substantial. And I applaud that.
Thanks for the comments. I'm not sure that I want to make it more universal, but will think about it. I do agree that verse 2 is the weakest. That verse needs a rewrite.
I think the transitions between verse and chorus are a bit abrupt, so have been working on some chords that will make them smoother.
Renee
I've swapped verses 2 and 3 and added some transitional chords between verse and chorus. I did make it more universal by changing the idea of cleverness to being able to fix things. Interesting that being good with your hands doesn't make other people feel bad, but being smart does. But I think that's the way it is.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=13243477
verse
I miss the pleasure of routines
Like coffee in the morning.
You're set off by the smallest things.
It happens without warning.
chorus
I never got to say good-bye
To the lover that I knew.
At night I lay me down to cry
Next to what's left of you.
verse
I hide your keys so you don't drive,
Make sure you have your phone.
Don't like to let you out of sight,
Will you find your way home?
chorus
verse
You used to fix the broken stuff,
A car or a heart.
Now I don't seem to have your touch.
I don't know where to start.
chorus
Renee
