hey. didin't think I would post this week... all i could think of for the assignment i had already done last time. anyway here's one (you may say, "ha, she's using a cat again!", but well... in a different way at least...)
coward cat with magpie eyes
On that crooked chair
Like a scolded brat or a coward cat you sit
With your paws up before your head
But still it's a clumsy move
And will never do
To veil that magpie stare
This one steals itself onto your face
From time to time
And you never once managed to hide
These longing eyes
What's their current aim?
Is it this set of jewelry
Or these sweet male lips
May it be the blinking sun itself-
Really, you ought to make yourself behave!
No, dissolving is like escaping into sleep
None of the options you can choose between
Now that anyone could've seen this gaze
It will never do
To blink and vanish like a Cheshire cat
had two lines more first and a few different words, but, hey, I dunno... just left them out.
and "choose between" should be "choose from" I guess...
and yes, I've just read both of the books about alice... loved them...
cheers,
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Lots of cats (and dogs) this week, but a lot of different ideas with the same animals. Part of the fun! :wink:
I like the language and the images but sometimes I got lost trying to follow along, particularly on some of the jumps between stanzas:
On that crooked chair
Like a scolded brat or a coward cat you sit
With your paws up before your head
But still it's a clumsy move
And will never do
To veil that magpie stare
This one steals itself onto your face
From time to time
And you never once managed to hide
These longing eyes
What's their current aim?
Is it this set of jewelry
Or these sweet male lips
May it be the blinking sun itself-
"This one" refers to what? The stare?
I'm guessing that "their" in "their current aim" refers to eyes, while the final three lines refer to the Cheshire Cat grin that ends the song. It may simply be that I'm tired and need to read through it again with a clear head! :wink:
Looking forward to more.
Peace
