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Y4week28 when the blues grows like ivy on you

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straycat.
(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 1282
Topic starter  

version #1:
When the blues grows like ivy on you

Turn the radio off, my friend
These songs merely make you sad
And you seem to like the point you're at
But I think the future lies ahead

And none of these songs takes you back

Turn the radio off, my friend
There's no sense in cursing the song
If you keep singing along
No matter how cheap the words become

And none of these songs revives the dead

Turn the radio off, my friend
Quit choking on animal tears just to fit the shoe
Most of that aired junk is overdue
Besides the blues already grows like ivy on you

And none of your weak puns
Covers up the impact you grant the poorest songs
And none of your honest floods
Justifies the doors that are locked and the lids shut

If we could swap views you would lecture me, too
‘Cause these songs keep you bad company
And none of them takes you back
And none of them revives the dead

But in the state you're in they all ring true
That's so not you

version #2:
When the blues grows like ivy on you

When the blues grows like ivy on you
You'd better turn the radio off
These songs, they all make you sad
And you will like the point you're at
But the future lies ahead

And none of these songs takes you back
Yeah, none of them revives the dead

When the blues grows like ivy on you
You'd better turn the radio off
There's no sense in cursing the song
Cause you keep singing along
No matter how cheap the words become

And none of these songs takes you back
Yeah, none of them revives the dead

Turn the radio off, my friend
Quit choking on animal tears to fit the shoe
Yeah, most of that aired junk is overdue
Besides the blues already grows like ivy on you

And you'll aim weak puns
But they won't cover up the impact you grant the weakest songs
And your honest floods
Which drown the flat or the house you're at, they make your friends wet
But won't revive the dead

If we could swap views, you would lecture me, too
Because these songs keep bad company
Some of the lines question your integrity
Some of the words are pathetic
Some would make you puke if

But in the state you're in they all ring true
That's so not you

sorry for posting both.. they're not so very different, but I couldn't decide

cheers,
bluenightangel

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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Vic Lewis VL
(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

To take the first song.....

I thought this line - "And none of these songs takes you back" - looked a little out of place - when I hear an oldie on the radio, it does take me back - I tend to associate songs with past events, so I thought maybe "And those songs just take you back" would work better, especially as the previous line is about moving on....

the negative works better after the second verse - "And none of these songs revives the dead" - although again it might read better with a slight revision, something along the lines of "But none of those songs revive the dead" ....

Great title BTW, although I agree with Bushpig - "When The Blues Grow Like Ivy On You" is better.....

Although the second song seems a little fuller than the first, I didn't like this line -
"And your honest floods
Which drown the flat or the house you're at, they make your friends wet " - it just seemed as if you were trying too hard to extend the metaphor and it grates a little.....

Although I usually read your songs in a kind of doomy melodramatic ballad kind of way, I think this one suits a more bluesy style as it should, given the title!

You do keep coming up with this amazing imagery week after week after week don't you! I'd love to know where you get your inspiration from! Your muse - poor overtired frail little thing she is - should demand a pay rise!!!

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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lotto king
(@lotto-king)
Prominent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 777
 

You do keep coming up with this amazing imagery week after week after week don't you! I'd love to know where you get your inspiration from! Your muse - poor overtired frail little thing she is - should demand a pay rise!!!

I agree with the young man :lol:

As you said BNA both different but both are quite unique in their own way ..

This line just ... for the lack of better wording nay I say does not work for me ?

Some would make you puke if

I think it detracts from the verse , the verse talks about integrity ..I personally feel it detracts thats all

Might just be me going stupid with old age ,

But the rest of that song I like , the other I feel personally I like more

Good to see your work as usual

Keep posting

L.K

Aghhhh

Not only am I a senior citizen

I'm now a bloody senior member

Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?

over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )


   
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straycat.
(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 1282
Topic starter  

hey all :wink:

so the first version wins, aye? good.
as for "the blues grow/s".. i feel like it would work with the s, because when i kind of sing it there's a little pause between blues and grows.. like it's two lines... see? maybe it does indeed flow better without the s but that really sounds strange in my ears(like grammatically wrong). so i dunno.

vic, as to the line "and none of these songs takes you back" i do see your point and no one could probably know what i mean here for all evidence is against me :wink: i know songs do take you back mentally, but i meant the physical side, like listening to this song and this regret or whatever won't actually bring you back to that situation so you could act differently.
that seems to be an explanation which confuses more than it explains... sorry

oh and you're right about "which drown the flat or the house you're at...". think i got carried away there :wink:
Your muse - poor overtired frail little thing she is - should demand a pay rise!!! :D
well, all she does is behaving like she's vanished and leaving me blank so i write nothing but crap. but in the end it almost always seems like she hasn't been that far away.

hey lotto king.... the line "some would make you puke if" should basically show that most of the songs on the (popular) radio are trite and cheap and if the person was in a 'normal' state he would see that and it would "make [him] puke". for me it goes well with the "integrity" line- it said the songs question his integrity: they are so bad and untrue that he seems a hypocrite or whatever for listening to them and feeling them.

anyways... hope my ramblings helped you:)
thank you all very much, your comments are as always appreciated.
glad you seem to like it.
cheers,
bluenightangel

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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