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Y5 W16 - New Direction (With MP3)

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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
Topic starter  

EDIT....Recorded Sun 4th..... http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=225059

Well I finally managed to throw something together - I know myself it needs some more work, but I can see where it's not as strong.....and I wanted to get at least something down on paper before the deadline....

As for the wordplay, OK, it's a bit cheeky, but it's all in how you pronounce the title - think how many politicians have been caught cheating on their partners, then think how Dylan would say that title and kind of run the words together...

New Direction.

I'm the man to take you in a new direction,
If you take no notice of my predilections,
My private life's my own affair,
And they're too trivial to be documented here,
Don't look further than the man you see,
And vote for me and I'll set you free!

Well I can sell you dreams and something more,
Rally round me on the floor,
Take no notice of the press, they should be crushed,
I'm tired of their lies, I'm really bushed,
So don't look further than the man you see,
And vote for me and I'll set you free!

So join the party, and I'll lead the way,
I'll come with you and lead you today,
To the promised land, if that's what you need,
On the gravy train, we'll feed,
So don't look any further than the man you see,
And vote for me and I'll set you free!

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@jamir)
Honorable Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 434
 

I think you got something good here Vic,

THe different length lines threw me a bit to start with and i had to re read the verses to try and get a solid rhythm , still not sure now, but in saying that ....... enjoyed reading the lyrics anyway.

The only line that stood out as forced rhyme was
On the gravy train, we'll feed,

but I have only just woken up we are 8 hours ahread of you and I've on my first cup of coffee. So can't think of anything better right now.

:lol: :lol:

Ja'mir

I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com

you can hear my songs at :

http://www.mp3.com.au/artist.asp?id=21709


   
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(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2957
 

Hi Vic

There is something about this I like but I just can't put my finger on it I have read it a few times now ..

Just my opinion I liked the gravy train line ...

Trevor

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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(@scratchmonkey)
Honorable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 603
 

Vic -

good work so far. Reminds me of a mixing together of Dylan's style with
The Who's "Revolution".

The "gravy train" line didn't bother me much. The line:

"and they're to trivial to be documented here" seemed a bit forced.

But all in all I liked it.

-- Scratch 8)


"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42


   
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(@kevin72790)
Prominent Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 837
 

Verse 1: My favorite verse. Perfect. Opens up the song well, draws you in very well.

Verse 2: I like all of this except for:
"Take no notice of the press, they should be crushed,
I'm tired of their lies, I'm really bushed,"

It just doesn't go together it seems. Everything else in the first two verses does, it works very well and compliments each other. I can see what you mean by the Dylan song.

I like the "Take no notice of the press" and "I'm tired of their lies" part of those lines, but they second part of each sentence just doesn't work for me.

Verse 3: As everyone else has said "On the gravy train, we'll feed,"

Very good song though. It has potential. I'm looking forward to seeing the changes.


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Hmm, for me this is quite an intellectual song, good stuff.
I really like verse 2
Well I can sell you dreams and something more,
Rally round me on the floor,
Take no notice of the press, they should be crushed,
I'm tired of their lies, I'm really bushed,
So don't look further than the man you see,
And vote for me and I'll set you free!

Except for the third line, I can't get the rhythm on that one. Line 4 is my favorite.

Nice one Vic.

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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 Joe
(@joe)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 504
 

I agree with Pbee on line 4. It was my favorite line too. Did everyone get that? Or did I read more into it than you meant? Someonehow I don't think so. As Pbee said, these are very intellectual lyrics. I'm also not crazy about the "crushed" line, but I liked the "too trivial to be documented here" line--or. Maybe you can say something like--

Ignore the press, I know you can't be pushed
To believe their lies, as for me I'm bushed

(or something better than this, but maybe using the word pushed rather than crushed)


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
Topic starter  

using any other word than "Crushed" would spoil the word-play in that line...."Press" is the double-meaning - obviously in this case meaning the paparazzi, but the word "press" can also mean to crush....

The gravy train line, I agree, is a little forced, but I wanted to get it in - gravy train in this case meaning a job in the European Parliament based at Brussels, where old politicians sit around all day doing absolutely nothing and get paid obscene amounts of money for doing it....

Still in two minds whether to record this or not.....it's too obviously Dylanesque....oh what the heck, I'll give it a go....

:D :D :D

Vic

EDIT - MP3 recorded..... http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=225059

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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 Joe
(@joe)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 504
 

Okay, I get that. Still not entirely sold, but that's your call. That said, when you press --someone's buttons, for example-- do you not also push them? I think the point of the paparazzi gets across even better and push also rhymes with bush. Just a thought. Either way, looking forward to hearing it. Good lyrics. Oh, and uh, since you don't seem like you're entirely satisfied with that last verse either, just another suggestion--maybe if you just juggle the words and lines around a bit:
So join the party, and I'll lead the way,
To the promised land, we'll leave today
I'll lead you there if that's what you need,
The gravy train's where you'll find me

Look no further than the man you see,
Just vote for me and I'll set you free!

That last part really sounds like a slogan. Thinking of running for office anytime soon?

Joe


   
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(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2957
 

Love the MP3 mate

The voice is sounding better and better

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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