Skip to content

Forum

Notifications
Clear all

Y7 W43 - Tattoo.


(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 10340
Topic starter  

Very weird. Hardly had a minute to myself all week, I've certainly not even thought about songwriting. But after a late night friday drinking session - finally got in bed about 2.30 am - I woke up about 5.30 am with this song going through my head. So I got up, made myself a cuppa tea and wrote it down....

Got up today, remembered the song, tidied it up a little - there were a couple of bad lines, and it probably still needs a little work, I can see at least a couple of lines I'm not happy with....but I'm fairly pleased with this for a first draft.

Tattoo

I'm going to get myself a tattoo,
Dedicated it to you,
I'm going to have your name inscribed on a broken heart,
It'll let the whole world see,
Exactly what you've done to me,
It's going to show how you broke me in half,

I'll let the man with the needle draw,
My feelings, bloody and raw,
And if it's painful, what's a little more or less?
I won't pick one off the shelf,
No, I'll design it myself,
I'm going to draw a line under the whole sorry mess,

(BRIDGE)Well here's your fifteen minutes of fame,
I'm going to highlight your name,
On a blood-red background like you bled me dry,
Maybe a teardrop or two,
'Cause I'm all cried out over you,
Right next to my heart, I got no real tears left to cry....

I'm going to get myself tattooed,
It's going to take quite a few,
To cover up the damage done to my heart,
There won't be much clear skin,
I'll be covered with ink,
When I name and shame everyone who's torn me apart......

Like I said, very strange. Never had a song come to me in a dream before - OK, it's no "Kublai Khan" but looking on the bright side, at least I didn't get some bloke from Porlock knocking on my door at 5.30 am.....

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


Quote
 KR2
(@kr2)
Famed Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 2725
 

Lookin good.
Didn't understand the Porlock reference though.

OK, here's my 2 cents . . .

It got bumpy for me on this . . .
Well here's your fifteen minutes of fame,
I'm going to highlight your name,

how about this?
Well here's your only claim to fame
I'm going to ink your name
On a blood-red background . . .

OK, I'm off to google 'porlock'

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.


ReplyQuote
(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Vic,
Like I said, very strange.
Interesting direction :o I'd suggest to the singer to have the message tattooed in another language like Japanese so it can just be "cool-looking" once he's ready to move on....like these tattoos that say "revenge" http://www.stockkanji.com/Words/Revenge+%28fukushuu%29.htm ....but then again, if he is Japanese, he'll want to pick a language other than Japanese

"Hate-inspired or vengeful tattoos are generally a bad idea, because feelings tend to change and having “die you cheating bastard” tattooed on your arm might not feel like such a great idea after a while."
http://ninanoir.blogspot.com/
Never had a song come to me in a dream before
Meaning of Dreams about Tattoo: Dream Interpretation Dictionary - Tattoo
Tattoo
Tattoos may represent those things in our lives that seem only "skin deep" but may be interesting and fun. They could represent our thinking, our playful ways, and our seemingly unimportant habits. As time progresses, we may realize that our passing fads have become permanent. Thus, a tattoo may be symbolic of something that we inflict on ourselves, is permanent if not deep, and generally carries with it some negativity.
http://www.experiencefestival.com/a/Meaning_of_Dreams_about_Tattoo/id/241449
OK, here's my 2 cents . . .
It got bumpy for me on this . . .
...both what you have and Ken's suggestion work fine for me.

....on to TIME.....I must say you are taking me places I would not have gone to on my own. .....and that's a good thing

Thanks.

James


ReplyQuote
 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 2097
 

Vic, I think this song could go places, the seeds of despair are sown nicely. I like the direction toward self mutilation and at the end he's taken “the particular to the universal”, definitely a troubled person. The “Claim to fame” line over the “Fifteen minutes of fame” line works better for me cos the tat will be there for a lot longer that 15 minutes.
Good stuff

Cheers

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


ReplyQuote
(@diceman)
Reputable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 408
 

How about
"My tribute to heartache and shame " as the opening line to the bridge or if you prefer :
"A tribute to heartbreak and shame ."

Good hook given the popularity of tattoos these days .

If I claim to be a wise man , it surely means that I don't know .


ReplyQuote
(@dogsbody)
Honorable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 726
 

Vic wrote:
Never had a song come to me in a dream before

Careful Vic this could be your route to fame!

Remember Macca had a song come to him in a dream and 'Yestereday' was that song.

Chris

The guitar is all right John but you'll never make a living out of it! (John Lennon's Aunt Mimi)


ReplyQuote