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Y7 W44: "Clockwatching"

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(@klepsydra)
Eminent Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 26
Topic starter  

As I'm flying from the US to the UK this week I thought I might not have time to come up with a submission, but (in the best rock tradition) I've put together one -- well, lyrics at least; it's hard to figure a tune without a guitar to fiddle with -- while staying in an airport hotel the night before my flight:

CLOCKWATCHING

Twelve numbers round a face
A ticking sound that fills the place
Staring as the hands go round
The room is filled by a ticking sound

Clockwatching's all I do
Sitting here, without you
Seconds turn to minutes
Clockwatching

The clock has hands and so do you
It's got a face and you do too
Your charms beat all the clock has got
But the clock's here now and you are not

Clockwatching's all I do
Sitting here, I dream of you
Minutes turn to hours
Clockwatching

It's one o'clock, it's two, it's three
I should go and make a cup of tea
I haven't got the will to move
And till you're back, I won't improve

Clockwatching's all I do
Sitting here, I fret for you
Hours turn into days
Clockwatching

The small hours grow and shrink again
The ticking echoes in my brain
Your empty absence fills the room
And my heart sinks into the gloom

Clockwatching's all I do
Sitting here, I cry for you
Days turn into weeks
Clockwatching

Twelve numbers round a face
My heart's become an empty place
I don't know if it's night or day
The clock might know, but it won't say

Clockwatching's all I do
Sitting here, I scream for you
Weeks turn into months
Clockwatching

I smash the clock upon the floor
I turn the lock and bolt the door
I know you won't return to me
But I'll make sure with an iron key

Clockwatching's all I do
Now the love we had is through
Love's turned into ashes
Clockwatching

"You do things I cannot see, the only fool around here is me. I see things you cannot do, the only fool around here is you."


   
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(@stikman)
Reputable Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 237
 

Nice. I like I know you won't return to me But I'll make sure with an iron key.

Funny how we can obsess over someone we know isn't coming back.

"All battles are first won or lost in the mind." - Joan of Arc

"It took me about 20 years to figure out how to write without inspiration. Thankfully, I got there." - Leon Russell


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Hi klepsydra,

interesting topic this week for you given your user Id (klepsydra= hours measured in water).

On the first read I thought hmmm this is quite long, but then on the second read just speeding up the pace a bit I got real sense of time i.e. the clock ticking. I think with the right music and pace this song could good.

cheers
Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Reads well :D

Maybe this section could add a bit more detail:
The clock has hands [LIKE YOURS THAT SLIPPED THE RING ON MY FINGER]
It's got a face [LIKE YOURS WITH EYES THAT BURNED AND LIPS THAT LINGERED] :roll: you get the idea :roll:
Your charms beat all the clock has got
But the clock's here now and you are not

You have a nice idea going, but after it is set up, it drags a bit....which actually does fit the lyrics/mood...but consider maybe having the singer going on about business fussing over the person, even though they aren't there.....by busying themselves 'cause that cant handle the reality of the person not returning.....For example, I'll have dinner warming in the oven....it's not the first time you've been home late.....I'll lay out the sports section by front door 'cause you like to read it on your commute.....I'll have you're dry cleaning back before you get home from your extended silence....etc...

To be honest I haven't read the book, but I did recently hear of one of the characters [Miss Havisham] that your song reminds me of.....

Great Expectations by Charles Dickinson
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miss_Havisham
Character history

Miss Havisham's mother died when she was just a baby, and her father, a wealthy brewer, spoiled her as a result. When he died, he left her most of his money.

As an adult, she fell in love with a man named Compeyson, who was only out to swindle her of her riches. Her cousin Matthew Pocket warned her to be careful, but she was too much in love to listen. At twenty minutes to nine on their wedding day, while she was dressing, Havisham received a letter from Compeyson and realized that he had defrauded her and she had been left at the altar.
Miss Havisham with Estella and Pip. Art by H. M. Brock.

Humiliated and heartbroken, Havisham had all the clocks stopped at the exact point in which she had learned of her betrayal. From that day on, she remained by herself in her decaying mansion, Satis House, never removing her wedding dress (as a result of being in the process of getting dressed when she receives the letter, she only has one shoe on), leaving the wedding cake uneaten on the table and only allowing a few people to see her. She can be called eccentric.

Thanks for sharing.

James


   
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