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Y7 Week 22 - 3 Titles - Dylan Barrett

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(@dylanbarrett)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 628
Topic starter  

Hi all

When you're not busy in the studio, you have time to complete a project nice and early.... :roll:
Thanks to everyone for their inspiring titles - I wonder why some titles jump out at you more than others... I think I go for the simpler ones to make life easier.. :wink:

When Today is Past (Nick)

When today is past we'll walk together
find our way out of the chaos and the pain
we will find the path of least resistance
and wait until the skies are clear again

When today is past we'll ask the question
what could we do where did it all go wrong
breaking down the walls that once divided
find a place where we can all belong

Domino (James)

I'm just a domino, a domino in your eyes
and I will fall for you, fall for you and your lies
And if you rock me, if you knock me I will fall
and I will know your game, know your game if you don't call

I'd been your domino, domino lying on the floor
And if you leave me here, leave me here I'll take no more
And when the game is done, I have won your not around
I will stand up straight, I will wait, stand my ground.

Long Walk Home (John)

No money for a bus or train or cab can't pay the fare
No credit on your mobile phone not that anyone would care
And nowadays the thumbs ignored with faces cold as stone
You got to face the fact that it's a mighty long walk home

You ain't got a wife no more she's gone and took the car
Trouble is she dumped you when you were in Edinburgh
She's taken all your cards and cash and stripped you to the bone
You got to face the fact that it's a mighty long walk home.

Thanks for reading.

Rock on!
D 8)

I'm nowhere near Chicago. I've got six string, 8 fingers, two thumbs, it's dark 'cos I'm wearing sunglasses - Hit it!


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
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Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

Nice job, Dylan. I like the way that you put the title in early in the first two choruses, and mixed it up by leaving it till late in the third one. Yeah, I know, I said use it as the hook, and I was imagining that everyone would use the title in the first line of the chorus. Sometimes, though, it's better left till the end.....

As long as you get it in there somewhere, no problemo.....

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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 Celt
(@celt)
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Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

Very Nice Dylan

When Today Is Past

I'm getting a post-apocalyptic feel from this one.

Domino

Rock and Roll all the way

Long Walk Home

First Thank You for choosing one of mine.Like Vic I like the hook coming at the end.

One minor point in the second chorus you jump from past to present tense
You ain't got a wife no more she's gone and took the car
Trouble is she dumped you when you were in Endinburgh
She's take all your credit cards and cash stripped you to the bone
You got to face the fact that it's a mighty long walk home.

You ain't got a wife no more she's gone and took the car
Trouble is she dumped you when you were in Endinburgh
She took all your credit cards and cash stripped you to the bone
You got to face the fact that it's a mighty long walk home

Good Job
:note1: :note1: :note1:

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
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(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Dylan,

Solid entries on all three choruses. :D
I wonder why some titles jump out at you more than others...
The same thing hit me when I read Vic's title "Songwriter's Block" The lines just kept pouring out and was saying...wait wait think it through and tag it as a possible chorus....but then I said, "What am I doing? If the song is coming, don't block the flow"...so I did a simlar thing on the other two....just kind of perused the list until one angle started to form.

James


   
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 KR2
(@kr2)
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Posts: 2717
 

One minor point in the second chorus you jump from past to present tense
You ain't got a wife no more she's gone and took the car
Trouble is she dumped you when you were in Endinburgh
She's take all your credit cards and cash stripped you to the bone
You got to face the fact that it's a mighty long walk home.

I thought he mistyped "taken" . . . but I could be . . . :roll: . . . "mistaken" :?

KR2

Edit:
Whoa! 65 users on-line . . . that's the most I've ever seen . . . well . . . not seen . . . they're incognito.

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.


   
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(@dylanbarrett)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 628
Topic starter  

One minor point in the second chorus you jump from past to present tense

Yeh, I tend to do that a lot don't I... or didn't I? :roll:

I've changed the line to reflect that. Yes, I think 'taken' is better and rephrased it to flow better... thanks.

But... nobody mentioned that I'd spelt Edinburgh incorrectly.... shame on you all... :wink:

Rock on!
D 8)

I'm nowhere near Chicago. I've got six string, 8 fingers, two thumbs, it's dark 'cos I'm wearing sunglasses - Hit it!


   
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(@joehempel)
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Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 2415
 

I like those choruses or chori?

Nice job!

In Space, no one can hear me sing!


   
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(@stikman)
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Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 237
 

All are good work. Nice job Dylan.

Ernie

"All battles are first won or lost in the mind." - Joan of Arc

"It took me about 20 years to figure out how to write without inspiration. Thankfully, I got there." - Leon Russell


   
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(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1282
 

Dylan, I think the last set of choruses is brilliant!
No credit on your mobile phone not that anyone would care
:D

In fact, I could quote all the lines in them+put smileys behind 'em. Also like the "mighty" :D

Cheers,
straycat.

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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(@dylanbarrett)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 628
Topic starter  

Thanks Straycat

The more I read 'em, the more I like 'em myself...

Appreciate the comment.

Rock on!
D 8)

I'm nowhere near Chicago. I've got six string, 8 fingers, two thumbs, it's dark 'cos I'm wearing sunglasses - Hit it!


   
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