Y7 Wk13 Undercover

The fingering for the one chord verse is standard tuning
EADGBE..(STRINGS)
044300...(FRETS)

That, I think, would be an F#11th chord - you've got E, C#, F#, A#, B and E. Taking F# as the root, you'd have the root (F#) third(A#) fifth (C#) flat seventh (E) and eleventh (B.) Or at least, an inversion of an F#11 chord. Makes for a nice interesting arpeggio, anyway. Might sound even better with a tremolo effect....if you've got that capability?

Anyways - you're going to have to help me out a little here, James. The very first section reads like we're in "Underworld" territory - hmm, had a nice mental vision of Kate Beckinsale in all that black leather there.....

Then (OK, I've stopped dribbling now....) it seems to be about an undercover cop gone bad,gone junkie from trying to pass as a junkie.....correct me if I'm wrong?

And - there's a couple of lines I could do with translating to English English, rather than US English.....

"Track housing in Anaheim" - not sure what track housing is? And is there any significance to it being in Anaheim?

"Substance D" - not a clue there.

"Went to rehab at New Path" - obviously I know what rehab is, but New Path?

If you can clear those up for me, I may get a better understanding of the song.....for now, all I can say is it seems to work well in a general sense, the music's definitely well thought out - just not sure of the rest till I get some translation!

:D :D :D

Vic

Now this is a book I haven't read . . .
or a movie I haven't seen . . .
or perhaps one of your nightmares . . .

Either way I like the lyrics a lot.
Some really great lines in there.

F#11th chord - you've got E, C#, F#, A#, B and E. Taking F# as the root, you'd have the root (F#) third(A#) fifth (C#) flat seventh (E) and eleventh (B.) Or at least, an inversion of an F#11 chord. Makes for a nice interesting arpeggio, anyway. Might sound even better with a tremolo effect....if you've got that capability?
Thanks for doing the research :D ...Actually, I did not use any effects on the guitar at all. I thought it was a cool "delay" sound created from the chord and strum pattern...but yes, it would definitely be doctored up in a studio.
it seems to be about an undercover cop gone bad,gone junkie from trying to pass as a junkie
YES!!!! You are 100% coooorrrrect!!!
not sure what track housing is?
It's when developers develop a whole neighborhood based on one house design...to me the symbolism is conformity, but it is a very real way modern neighborhoods are developed
And is there any significance to it being in Anaheim?
It's the setting of the book/movie I am drawing from.....any clues yet?
"Substance D" - not a clue there.
It's the newest drug in the book/movie I am drawing from.....
but New Path?
It's a larger rehibiliation center, but it is also the largest manufactuer of the illegal drug! the Twist :twisted:

....and the book/movie is drummmmmmm rooooollllllll
....A Scanner Darkly
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Scanner_Darkly_(film)

These weekly exercises have revealed to me that I really need a story to wrap my mind around to put things together, but maybe I should bury the story a bit more so the listerner does not have to rely on outside knowledge to understand the song...I have to question the value of the lyrics...is it worth telling an unfamiliar story with references to outside sources to make sense of it? I guess it depends on the audience, which for me now is undefined....I almost have another song within this song...then the question is if it could be said with less...do it?....Here is another way the song could be done and be brought down to a more standard length of time....as is it's almost 6 mins!

FEEDBACK?

Revised lyrics with no outside book/movie knowledge needed
I'll record again with the revised lyrics
Undercover
The war on mutants was all but lost
Wearing gloves to hide their claws
Mardi Gras on every street
Freaks blended in so discreet

I woke up at least I thought I did
In a stranger's life; a stranger's crib
Matted hair sweating in my mask
Nobody saw, nobody asked
I'm undercover

Chorus
I put on a suit; to look like the others
My tie fits like a noose; ‘cause deep undercover
The fight with myself begins; I lose, and it's over
I never try, never win and it's all undercover

Claustrophobic in my mind
I had to find a way to unwind
A way to cope and still stay dressed
A way to manage all the stress

Running circles in my brain
All the games to keep me sane
Paranoia and conspiracies
Am I him or is he me?

Chorus
I try to fit in; to look like the others
I wear the same skin; but deep undercover
The fight with myself begins; I lose, and it's over
I never try, never win and it's all undercover

The bathroom mirror really freaked me out
Said for sure without a doubt
Bury your emotions or they'll bury you
I see your human stain seeping through

Chorus
I put on a smile; to look like the others
I'm keeping it all inside ‘cause deep undercover
The fight with myself begins; I lose, and it's over
I never try, never win and it's all undercover

I put my fist through the mirror; like my dreams, it shatters
Shards of me are swept in the bin and not much seems to matter

The fight with myself begins; I lose, and it's over
I never try, never win and it's all undercover

The first one is better.
When I said you had some great lines, your second version deleted them.

Specifically,
I knew a girl, my supplier
Audrey or Donna, she was a liar
I thought she was a coke-head lover
Just a narc cop undercover

Chorus
I try to fit in; to look like the others
I wear the same skin; but deep undercover
The fight with myself begins; I lose, and it's over
I never try, never win and it's all undercover

Went to rehab at New Path
Souls got worked in the aftermath
Lies grew tall as the corn was high
Picked blue flowers for a friend of mine

I did like the claustrophobic line you substituted in one of the verses.

Who cares if people don't understand all of it . . . that's part of its attraction.
I definitely got the plot of the book/movie/nightmare from the lyrics.
If I saw a 30 second trailer of the movie advertised I would say . . .
"Hey, someone made a movie out of James' nightmare" :mrgreen:

Good job

KR2

Aaaaaah.......the plot thickens. Or at least, begins to make a little sense. I haven't seen the film you mention - title rings a bell, but that's all. I seem to remember a film from a good few years ago where Patrick Bergin was an undercover narcotics cop but became a junkie - there was no way he could fake being a user. Seems like it's in the same ballpark. Anyway, I'll look up the wiki link and see if things become clearer.... at least I'm no longer looking through dark mirror glass, just more like frosted glass now....got a slightly clearer idea.....

Thanks for the explanations. Good to see I was somewhere along the right track too - the brain cell is still working!

:D :D :D

Vic

Try this link, Vic.
The trailer is really interesting.

A Scanner Darkly

Vic Lewis VL wrote:
not sure what track housing is?
It's when developers develop a whole neighborhood based on one house design...to me the symbolism is conformity, but it is a very real way modern neighborhoods are developed

Just did a little research along those lines - there was a song I used to love as a little kid called "Little Boxes." Didn't understand what it was about till I was much older, but I think this is what you mean.....

http://www.actionext.com/names_p/pete_seeger_lyrics/little_boxes.html

Over here, we call it "Council Housing" - for those poor people like me, who can't afford - or can't get - a mortgage.

NOW I'll follow the wiki link you posted.....

:D :D :D

Vic

Another nice song, James!

Like Ken, I think I like the first version better than the first, although I can see you using bits of both.

The only suggestion I'd make is to take out the "I'm undercover" right before the first chorus. Gives the game away and you really don't need it. Same with the "Still undercover" in the last verse, although you could make a case for that one, given the details being described.

Looking forward to more.

Peace

Wow, someone made a song about one of my favorite books! Philip K. Dick, what a mind.

Nice job! Didn't expect to see this at all. Can't really think of anything to say, I'm still wowed by the fact that you wrote a song about Scanner Darkly.

take out the "I'm undercover" right before the first chorus. Gives the game away and you really don't need it. Same with the "Still undercover" in the last verse
*poof* done :mrgreen:
there was a song I used to love as a little kid called "Little Boxes." Didn't understand what it was about till I was much older, but I think this is what you mean.....Over here, we call it "Council Housing" - for those poor people like me, who can't afford - or can't get - a mortgage.
Yes, same idea.
Who cares if people don't understand all of it . . . that's part of its attraction....The first one is better.
Thanks for the input :D
Wow, someone made a song about one of my favorite books! Philip K. Richard
Thanks, Joe. Yeah! One satisfied customer! :mrgreen: ....Next stop....ANAHEIM!!!! :lol:

Thanks, all, for the input! I put up the original version again, a little tighter, but still with room for improvement on the performance side.

James

You know, I didn't see this before, but the censored my "Philip K. ahem" LOL :lol: :lol: I didn't do that!

Hey James,

Must say I do like the rewrite better, if only because the first was just too long. I did like this line though:

Chorus
I try to fit in; to look like the others
I wear the same skin; but deep undercover
The fight with myself begins; I lose, and it's over
I never try, never win and it's all undercover

KR2

I don't mind that I haven't seen the movie yet (let me borrow?). I think the key is you've got something that sets a certain tone a builds a world in the listeners mind - I built my own images to interpret it and so that's successful. I can see that it is some kind of fantasy sci-fi (mutants) but in a not too indistinct future (track housing).

You're a machine James... keep pumping out the music and comments.

Must say I do like the rewrite better, if only because the first was just too long.
Hey Jeremy,
I would have thought the same...I was surprised for the positive feedback on keeping the first....the jury is still out....what will I tell Joe if I cut the original?....he seems pretty stoked about the whole "My favorite book is in a song thing" :roll: :lol:
I don't mind that I haven't seen the movie yet (let me borrow?).
Sorry, I don't have a copy...it was on UBC a while aback....but definitely an edited version from the youtube scenes I saw in my "research" :oops: Actually, it looks like there are so many youtube clips, you could piece the whole thing together. :lol:

Thanks for the feedback :D
James

Hi James,

I haven't seen the movie but now I think I'll read the book and then do a rental. I don't think it matters if listeners don't get the exact storyline. I miss out on most things I listen too. Enjoyed.

E