Y7W14 - With Another Day

Ernie,

Good start! :D I sense the personal influence or connections the stars' music has on your life...

Suggestion
What would happen if you took the personalizing one step further? Calling them "stars" makes me think of literal stars which always seem distant.

...what if you called them closer relations like teacher, prophet, gurus, preachers

...or closer...family relations...like I was a rainy day, perfect for strumming out Uncle Jimi's [Hendrix] or Uncle John [Denver]'s "Country Road" tune....I read Aunt Janis' [Joplin] love letters off the back of the record cover today. Brother...sister..etc...someone who understood what you were going through and gave timely advice.

...and songs are letters of encouragement in hard times, mantras, spiritual texts, etc...

James

Good point James. I struggled with the star metaphor. But mostly because I did not want to give the impression I was talking about star as in "rock star" but more as an eternal and yes distant guiding light. Distant but warm. I feel I know John Lennon quite well and that he knows me but I realize that is a fantasy I have. So I like your suggestion, but I don't feel that amount of personalization. Their is a warmth and kinship, but there is also a distance. And still their songs are letters of encouragement, mantras, spiritual texts.......Maybe I could meet your idea half way.

Thanks,
Ernie

......Maybe I could meet your idea half way.
Ernie,
No problem at all :wink: ...take whatever seems to spark your own direction..I agree that you have to find your own path for the connection...There is some kind of universal chord these guys tapped into that we can relate to...it's that kind of appreciation you seem to be thanking them for or saying they are worth remembering for...

I'll look forward to the listen! :D

James

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7307671

With Another Day

I see them in the magazines
On records and on movie screens
Sometimes they kept me safe
Lying on my bed, their songs in my head

Their stars they shine at night
They lead me with their light
And I always miss them dearly
When they're gone, so long gone

They taught me to love
They taught me how to play

The stars they fade in various ways
Always a tragedy, always a shame
I wonder what Buddy Holly would do,
With another day

We all know who they are
Their influence goes far
Slightly larger than life
We feel we know them anyway, and that's okay

When rainy days come around
And the blues are bearing down
I listen to my old friends
It helps to make my day, it's better that way

They taught us to love
They taught us how to play

The stars they fade in various ways
Always a tragedy, always a shame
I wonder what Buddy Holly would do,
With another day

I can still hear their sounds
Their voices still resound
I'll never forget the music
That they left behind, so far behind

They taught me to love
They taught me how to play

The stars they fade in various ways
Always a tragedy, always a shame
I wonder what Buddy Holly would do,
With another day
What would Buddy Holly do?
With another day

I like this - it strikes a wonderful tone. There's a simplicity to this that is unarming.

Love the tag line in the chorus as well as this one:

We feel we know them anyway, and that's okay

Both of which are now in my official "wish I'd written that" file.

Looking forward to more.

Peace

Nice job Ernie! I've only got a couple of things, of course like Vic has said before it's hard to get something written and recorded in a weeks time.
The percussive strokes I think detract from the voice, I think maybe if pick individual strings after the regular strums then do the percussive strokes maybe it would come together abit more? I don't know, it's hard to get stuff together in one week.

They taught me to love
They taught me how to play

I was expecting this line to repeat when you were singing it, and I thought it was incomplete when you didn't.

Really nice, love the lyrics, and you singing!

Ernie,

+1 from me. Nice movement in the melody line...I caught a bit of Beatles "My Life" with the major to minor chord, but not too much...you still had enough other variety in other parts...if nothing is new under the sun we are getting everything from somewhere else :wink: ...and it added a touch of nostalgia as well.

Good song! :D

James

Hi Joe,

I would be nice to have some strumming and picking going on together, I'm just really wanted the guitar to be simple and repetitive and outline the harmony. Not to mention the learning curve involved in learning to play a more complex part as you implied yourself. Maybe the guitar is just too loud in relation to the vocal. I'll try pulling it back some.
They taught me to love
They taught me how to play

I was expecting this line to repeat when you were singing it, and I thought it was incomplete when you didn't.

Well, I could cut out the two measures after that and jump straight into the chorus or sing it twice and jump straight into the chorus. It is meant to be a short pre-chorus. What do you think?

Thanks for the compliment on my singing. My voice is one thing that I have a lot of trouble listening to. I've always been too shy to sing but one of my goals is to get up at an open mic and sing. So this SSG has the dual purpose of learning songcraft and experimenting with my voice in a no pressure situation. Hopefull my voice will sound much better in a live room that recorded digitally and dry.

James,

I was definitely thinking some Beatles when I stumbled on that major to minor change. What really spurred this tune was that I caught Nick Lowe on Austin City Limits late last Saturday Night. Aside from Cruel to be Kind I was not familiar with his later work. I enjoyed it. He basically played every tune using major and minor bar chords but using his thumb over the neck instead of index finger barring. He would just move that up and down the neck and occassionally use an open A7 or D. He would also play a major chord with root on 5th string but playing an open D shape and then reaching to the 5th string to grab the root with his 4th finger. So D would be the standard open D shape with pinky at 5th fret 5th string. He did not use a pick either but down up with his thumb and then chop with his index. I thought it was a unique and nicely simplistic way of playing. Alas my hand is not strong enough yet to fret that way through a 3 minute tune and get a good sound so I reverted to a couple standard bars and open chords to give my hand a break. I did try to use the right hand folky strum though.

David, thanks for the kind words.
Love the tag line in the chorus as well as this one:

We feel we know them anyway, and that's okay

Both of which are now in my official "wish I'd written that" file.

What an inspiring thing to read.

Ernie

Verry nice! And yes ...... it is hard to get a song written and recorded in a week. :? I guess thats what makes this fun though.

Thanks TRG. My initial goal was one song a week, but Vic has talked me into going for 2 a week. Won't be this week though I have to develop the Speed of James. Guy's got lyrics and mp3 posted on Monday. :D

Ernie

though I have to develop the Speed of James. Guy's got lyrics and mp3 posted on Monday. :D Ernie
Yeh, we're going to have to talk to James about that . . . he makes the rest of us look bad.

KR2

though I have to develop the Speed of James. Guy's got lyrics and mp3 posted on Monday. :D Ernie
Yeh, we're going to have to talk to James about that . . . he makes the rest of us look bad.
KR2
Hey guys....I am still reading here!!! :x Anyway, it might just seem fast b/c #1 I live in your future....Bangkok is about 12 hrs ahead of USA time zone (depending on pacific, standard or eastern time) #2 This week, I wrote the same melody for all 13 verses #3 My wife has been threatening me to not stay on the computer so long...something about quality time, 3 kids etc.....pressure exerts efficiency or dies trying :lol:

James

I wonder what Buddy Holly would do,
Won't be this week though I have to develop the Speed of James. Guy's got lyrics and mp3 posted on Monday.

Yeh, we're going to have to talk to James about that . . . he makes the rest of us look bad.

but use your nice voice, he's the size of bear... :wink:

Seriously, though, stikman - I think you captured this one quite well. The reason people worship these guys is tthe familiarity we feel with them - we think we know them by their music... they are able to express things in ways we can't, but we feel at home. All the influences I would state are 99% artists I've never even seen. Nice.

One suggestion,
I wonder what Buddy Holly would do,
you use this a few times, (yeah, that was our main assignment) but given that your song talks about a broader collection of passed musicians, why not change from chorus to chorus to throw in other musicians?

jeremy
When their gone
(ahh, we won't tell your English teacher)

One suggestion,
I wonder what Buddy Holly would do,

you use this a few times, (yeah, that was our main assignment) but given that your song talks about a broader collection of passed musicians, why not change from chorus to chorus to throw in other musicians?

I actually did have a different name in each chorus jerm. But they were all men and I decided I had to to include a woman. Janis Joplin came to mind but then I started to look for more. Then it became hard to choose. I could have added more verse but then the song would have become to long and boring. In the end I decided on Buddy Holly in all chorus'. When I record it over again I'll consider your your suggestion. :wink:
When their gone
(ahh, we won't tell your English teacher)

I'm a product of the North Carolina education system and not much else beyond that, :shock: so there will be mistakes.
Please feel free to correct my grammer. I wonder though. Are liberties with grammer ever okay in a song or poetry? I've probably got errors in every verse I ever wrote. I used to write fiction and have books on grammer. I guess I'll have to dust them off.

Thank you for the comments,

Ernie