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Y7W14 - With Another Day

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(@contagiousjerm)
Estimable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 176
 

As far as the grammar (well, actually spelling), I was practicing with my chapel band yesterday and had to keep laughing at the "your wonderful" line that kept popping up and thinking "I have to remember to fix that" - usually spelling doesn't really matter until you project it onto a screen and ask people to sing along! their, they're, there... English is weird. Let's all study Thai!!!

jeremy

And my Soundclick Page to listen to my song submissions: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=903876


   
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(@stikman)
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Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 237
Topic starter  

Oh I get the spelling mistake. Did not see the grammer mistake.

I'm actually not too bad a speller. That one just did not even register.

"All battles are first won or lost in the mind." - Joan of Arc

"It took me about 20 years to figure out how to write without inspiration. Thankfully, I got there." - Leon Russell


   
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(@juliaspring)
Active Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 12
 

The stars they fade in various ways
Always a tragedy, always a shame
I wonder what Buddy Holly would do,
With another day

I like this as it really makes you realize what else they could have created if longer here. And what we can create "With Another Day"!

I imagined a much slower paced song when reading, but you performed well. Singing and recording always makes me nervous to.

Peace
Julia Spring :P


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
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Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

Hey Ernie, sorry to be late with my comments this week...I got way into my own song, which I still haven't added lead and bass to, from week 13....week 14's mp3 may be a long time coming, as I'm now in the middle of decorating the living room which is a royal pain!

Just wanted to say I liked the song - words and music fit together fine. You might think about starting the chords a semitone or so lower though - you're struggling a bit on the highest notes, but apart from that the voice is fine too. Like you said, a no-pressure situation....

"In my life" isn't the only Beatles song they used that major/minor change on - Dear Prudence and Lucy In The Sky also come to mind.

One suggestion I would take up, if I were you, would be varying the "What would Buddy Holly do" line - Lennon, Joplin...whoever you feel like putting in. It would add a little variety and be a nice touch, IMO.

Another good one!

Oh, and as for grammar - of course it's OK to bend the rules a little - as long as it sounds good. I can't imagine Country Joe and the Fish doing the "One feels like one is fixing to die" rag, nor can I imagine Bachman Turner Overdrive singing "You have not seen anything yet!"

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@contagiousjerm)
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Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 176
 

in poetry, grammar rules should be broken with regularity... especially if you are trying to express things in common language - this isn't a formal essay. i just want to clarify, i did not insult any grammar (intentionally) :? it was a spelling error that I saw (and a very common one because spell checkers don't catch it - their, there they're) I think I'll never make mention of that again, even though I just saw a "your" where there should have been a "you're" in an unrelated post - we all know what it means when we read it... our English teacher would jjust mark it in red for our spelling. oh well.

i use words like ain't regularly in my songwriting, and have to "bend" rules to make the prose more singable :note1: :note2: :note1: :note2:

oooh, look, I'm not a newbie anymore!! i was just about to ask how to advance...

And my Soundclick Page to listen to my song submissions: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=903876


   
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(@stikman)
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Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 237
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CJ,

Congrat's on Junior Member status. I noticed I made it too. Woohooo!!!

There is a big difference between their and they're so I am glad you pointed it out to me.

Ernie

"All battles are first won or lost in the mind." - Joan of Arc

"It took me about 20 years to figure out how to write without inspiration. Thankfully, I got there." - Leon Russell


   
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(@stikman)
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Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 237
Topic starter  

You might think about starting the chords a semitone or so lower though - you're struggling a bit on the highest notes,

Yes I think you are correct. Thanks for the feedback. Thanks for your time. How 'bout a margerita. Oh squeeze me a LIIIMMMMMEEEEE!!!!!!

Wow. Sorry ever since SSG I can't stop coming up with lyrics and melodies. :lol:

Sorry again. I'm twisted. :twisted:

stik

"All battles are first won or lost in the mind." - Joan of Arc

"It took me about 20 years to figure out how to write without inspiration. Thankfully, I got there." - Leon Russell


   
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