Where You Belong
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=8247309
Still sleep on my side of the bed
Reach for you; find your pillow instead
Want to steal a kiss before the break of dawn
But you're gone; yeah you're gone
Make two cups of coffee; can't drink them both
Find a clean plate but burn the toast
Want a goodbye kiss on the front lawn
But you're gone; yeah you're gone
Pre-chorus
I want to kiss you; ‘cause I miss you
Chorus
I'm here where you belong; where you belong
I'm here where you belong; where you belong
Catch myself say, “Honey, I'm home from workâ€
Find a missing button on my last clean shirt
Want a welcome kiss; put a TV dinner on
Cause you're gone; yeah you're gone
Go to bed; turn on all the house lights
Pretend you're working late at night
Find your iPod; I'm playing your songs
Cause you're gone; yeah you're gone
pre-chorus
chorus
Bridge
Hours pass like days and the nights are long
My arms are empty it feels wrong
chorus
The more I hear it, the more I like it. Wasn't sure how the chorus fit in after the first two verses, but it's growing on me. Would like to see another verse after
Go to bed; turn on all the house lights
Pretend you're working late at night
Found your iPod; I'm playing your songs
Cause you're gone; yeah you're gone
Maybe something like;
Tossed and turned while you're not there
what made you think I didn't care
looked outside and it was dawn
yeah you're gone; yeah you're gone
Again, really enjoyed it and the music fit well.
Neil
Hi Neil,
it's growing on me.
Yeah, it's growing on me, too....a bit of a mix of styles but I'm starting to warm up to it. :wink:
Would like to see another verse
POOF :mrgreen: Another verse added :mrgreen:
I went ahead and put it before the verse you mentioned....That way it's kind of like the day in the life of the person without the partner...waking up....before work...after work....go to bed....
Thanks for the suggestion.
Feedback?
James
Hey James, I have a few comments/suggestions:
"Still sleep on my side of the bed
Reach across; find your pillow instead
Want to steal a kiss before the break of dawn
But you're gone; yeah you're gone"
In that second line i'd have said "reach for you, find your pillow instead"... that way the word "sintead" makes a little more sense.
Also in pretty much every verse you talk about kissing and then there it is again in chorus... I think maybe you could leave that in the first verse and maybe find something else to say in the others to keep from being overly repetitive. Of course Pop is built on repetition but I feel that those lines could be better used to say something else clever.
Overall you've got a pretty snappy sounding recording... the backup vocals standout as particularly cool with their classic pop/indie-rock sorta vibe. Your voice has some neat character to it too.
I think that's all I have at present...
-marv
Andrew Delaney & The Horse You Rode In On ---> http://www.myspace.com/andrewdelaney
You can and should buy my album "Scoundrels!" in mp3 format on amazon.com or iTunes etc...
Hi Marv,
Thanks for the listen and feedback. Yes, your suggestion adds clarity..."reach for you, find your pillow instead" POOF :mrgreen: change made*
Regarding the "kiss". It was intentional to put it in each verse, but it could be overdone [actually almost every verse....missed "goodnight kiss"] :P . I like the idea of "kiss" b/c in this age of communication...email, cell phones, web cams....it's pretty easy to stay "in touch" but nothing can replace the physical touch...at least not yet....maybe give it another 30 years :roll: :lol: .....and I thought "I want to kiss you 'cause I miss you" was about as pop corny as you can get, so I thought it might be contrast to the verses.
.....I'll keep thinking it over.
... the backup vocals standout as particularly cool with their classic pop/indie-rock sorta vibe.
Thanks for the encouragement. I enjoy the experimenting.
James
Hullo James,
thumbs up for the lyrics and the recording!
I love the back up vocals, too! Really catchy tune. I did not notice the repetition of the kiss theme in almost all the verses, but I must say that I like the pre-chorus very much, even though it's pop corny :wink: I found it beatle-ish for some reason, so I just sang along :D
As for the lyrics, I especially like the coffee / toast lines and the way he's trying to pretend she's just working late (the TV dinner, the iPod, talking as if she was there...) :D
Thanks for sharing!
Cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin