So I started this one in Week 4, and it's morphed into something a bit different than the "what would you change if you had a time machine"? It started as a song about way back then, then it became a song about now and then and eventually a song about why not now? Anyway, it hung around for a long time with a chorus and verse and even chords and melody, but I couldn't finish it. On Valentine's day though the writer's block lifted and I finally finished it. Relatively speaking...
So here is "Romeo"
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=838768&songID=7345242
(*This one isn't available as a download, but if you'd like a copy just drop me a pm and I'll send you one.)
Romeo -
I ain't too old to be your.....Romeo
So won't you be my Juliette
Some say those days have passed us...long ago
but I just say we ain't dead yet
Never been no, Prince Charming, but I'll do my best
kill the witch or slay your dragons, just put me to the test
from the ashes, here's your slipper, wake you with a kiss
so ready for that, ever after, and everything we've missed
When the fairy tale has lost it's charm
and you give up what you believe
let me take you back there, arm in arm
and once we're there we'll never leave
Never been no, Prince Charming, but I'll do my best
kill the witch or slay your dragons, I'm ready for the test
from the ashes, here's your slipper, wake you with a kiss
so ready for that, ever after, and everything we've missed
and if that darkness makes you cry today
just call my name, I'll dry your eyes
don't let them take those childhood dreams away
If you believe then so do I
Never been no, Prince Charming, but I'll do my best
kill the witch or slay your dragons, just put me to the test
from the ashes, here's your slipper, wake you with a kiss
so ready for that, ever after, and everything we've missed
I ain't too old to be your.....Romeo
So won't you be my Juliette
© 2009 NFShakespeare
Nick,
I like the feel of the song :D It reminds me a bit of the Wallflowers. Personal preference would be a bit more faster on the tempo. It looks like you have a clear idea regarding the mood of the singer wooing his singee. The lyrics seem to work for the most part, if it was intentional to pull from different fairy tales.
Suggestion:
Consider a few more variations of fairy tale sources. Right now your hook is Romeo and Juliet, but the story you are describing is Sleeping Beauty with one reference to Cinderella [slipper].
James
Hi James,
You could very well be right about the tempo. I could certainly turn it up a few clicks without affecting the mood. I'll give it a try. Right now it's at 120, but I'm singing it with a 60 bpm feel.
The song isn't about fairy tales though, it's about being a romantic and romanticism being scoffed at in today's USAToday/CNN/Internet short attention span world. So I don't want it to get too specific or I think I'll distract from the true meaning. That said, ashes, or cinders is a reference to Cinderella too. I should have two of each, ashes and slippers, killing the witch and wake with a kiss, and Romeo and Juliet, oh, and one killing of a dragon thrown in for good measure for for those who watched the Disney version of Sleeping Beauty. I could have added the chop off the heel and toes of your wicked step sister, but ehhh, I thought it might ruin the mood. I did have a little bit of a Shakespearean bawdy line in there at one point, "We'll Montague, then Capulet." sung with a lewd wink if you know what I mean. But no...
You do bring up an interesting point about reading vs. listening, or did in my mind. I think if you read the lyrics you are right about the references to fairy tales, it's a little light in the details. If you listened first though, I think you'd get a different take on it, that it's all about the romance.
Thanks for taking the time to read and listen and the things to think about.
Nick
Oh, and for those of you keeping track, I think that's three SSG songs this year. I am falling woefully behind.
What I found interesting was a question I asked about earlier this year.
You're varying your rhyme scheme.
ABAB and then AABB.
Interesting
And it works really well.
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
I agree that you should up the tempo a it, but as for the rest, don't change a thing! " don't go changing, trying to please me...."
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
Really like the dobro with the strumming in the background.
stik
"All battles are first won or lost in the mind." - Joan of Arc
"It took me about 20 years to figure out how to write without inspiration. Thankfully, I got there." - Leon Russell
It's seriously good.
A :-)
"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk
Thanks much for the kind words.
Nick,
Loved your song!
May even give it a go myself - Really nice :D
What I found interesting was a question I asked about earlier this year.
You're varying your rhyme scheme.
ABAB and then AABB.
Interesting
And it works really well.
Listening to the way it's sung/played
it could easily have been writen:
Never been no, Prince Charming
....But I'll do my best
Kill the witch or slay the dragon
.... Just put me to the test
Which really isn't all that far removed from the rhyme scheme of the verse.
That's not to say that you couldn't vary rhyme schemes.... I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not that important to look for those kinds of things.
It's kind of like the example I've told someone recently about what happens when you start out in Photography;
You may see a picture that you like that's B&W with tons of grain in it, so you think 'hey, that's what I need to make my pics look great!'
So you rush out and buy a bunch of high speed B&W film and enter into your 'grainy' period of photography - lol.
After you really figure out your true style though and photography comes naturally to you, what you find is that once in awhile you may end up with a really cool high grain B&W shot, and people will be going 'WOW, how did you ever think to do that!?'
The answer is simple - It's what needed to be done to get that shot.
And nothing more.
That saying - 'Art imatates life'
Well, that can be taken a couple-a-ways....
And as John Lennon said - Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans....
Well, Art works the same way :wink:
Hope that helped
Sorry for jackin' your thread Nick - Great Song!
Ken
"The man who has begun to live more seriously within
begins to live more simply without"
-Ernest Hemingway
"A genuine individual is an outright nuisance in a factory"
-Orson Welles
