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Y9W9 Mark of the Beast 666


(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Y9W9 Mark of the Beast 666

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10045283

==========REVISED VERSION============

It's shopping day and shopping is a must
There's no more money marked “In God We Trust”
The sacred texts reveal the time has come
A common currency for everyone

Chorus
The mark of the Beast
The mark of the Beast
666

Raise your right hand to show the mark is there
Or mark you forehead to show extra flare
Without this mark you can not sell or buy
If you refuse this mark then you will die

chorus

In this dark hour the Anti-Christ reigns
The graves are filling up with headless saints
Still shopping carts are filling up with ease
As souls are offered retail therapy

chorus

==========ORIGINAL VERSION===========

It's shopping day and shopping is a must
There's no more money marked “In God We Trust”
The sacred texts reveal the time has come
A common currency for everyone

Chorus
The mark of the Beast
The mark of the Beast
666

Raise your right hand to show the mark is there
Or mark you forehead to show extra flare
Without this mark you can not sell or buy
If you refuse this mark then you will die

chorus

The revelation of Apostle John
For those with ears to hear then listen on
In this dark hour the Anti-Christ reigns
The graves are filling up with headless saints

chorus


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(@john-sargent)
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Joined: 12 years ago
Posts: 948
 

I'm not a metal fan so I have no opinion on this song.


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(@davidhodge)
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Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 4485
 

Ooooooooooooo - kay..........

I ask for a new take on something, I certainly get one! Definitely musically intense and a nice job on the genre (although I do have to admit that I personally can't tell the difference between "metal," "death metal" and "nu black death metal alternative").

That being said, I also have to admit that I was expecting a bit more. The first verse and the setting up of the "mark" as currency (cute, by the way, even if "cute" and metal don't mesh) was riveting and the second verse held my interest (particularly with the clever second line), but the third verse didn't really do much for me. I was expecting more of the tongue in cheek approach ("...The revelation of Apostle John /For those who wear the mark it's two for one..." or something like that) but got a very straightforward metal line.

Not that it doesn't work. But it's like the song has a split personality and the straight play of the third verse negates the ironic narration of the first two. The song might be better served by going all straight (not sure if that can be done) or all ironic (the easier choice, certainly) or a better mix of the two. I'm not sure I'm explaining this well and I apologize for that.

Regardless of all this discussion, the song was nicely conceived and executed. It certainly surprised me and was a lot of fun to listen to. Good touch on the solos and arrangement, by the way.

Looking forward to more.

Peace


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 geoo
(@geoo)
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Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 2823
 

Disclaimer - At work so I cant listen to the soundclick..

I absolutely loved the first verse. It was witty and interesting. The chorus probably works but thought it could be fleshed out a little more (Although I really know little about this style)

The second and third verses didnt grab me as much as v1 but of the two actually liked verse three better than two.

Probably doesnt offer much help, but one of my "things" is to get back into the SSG.. and since I have some time to kill before 5.. thought I would comment.

“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” - David Russell (Scottish classical Guitarist. b.1942)


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(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Hi MrEWorm,
I'm not a metal fan so I have no opinion on this song.
No problem. Thanks for the listen and post :D

Hi Dave,
I ask for a new take on something, I certainly get one!

Well then....mission accomplished
(although I do have to admit that I personally can't tell the difference between "metal," "death metal" and "nu black death metal alternative").

I can't claim expertise in these genres either.....I thought the idea of the mark (while not original...down right Biblical) would be a "different" slant on shopping.
That being said, I also have to admit that I was expecting a bit more.
I was wrestling to with the "voice" of the singer....while not wanting to write a song "pro-Anti-Christ" but also not wanting to add or detract from Scripture (as there is a curse attached for those who do it).....the uncomfortable balance is the end product
I was expecting more of the tongue in cheek approach ("...The revelation of Apostle John /For those who wear the mark it's two for one..." or something like that) but got a very straightforward metal line. Not that it doesn't work. But it's like the song has a split personality and the straight play of the third verse negates the ironic narration of the first two.

My goal for the 3rd verse was to peek the listeners interest, but I don't think it is accomplished, because the Scripture says those who don't take the mark will be beheaded; which seemed an interesting, if not macabre, bit of information.

Revelation 20:4
4 I saw thrones on which were seated those who had been given authority to judge. And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded because of their testimony about Jesus and because of the word of God. They[a] had not worshiped the beast or its image and had not received its mark on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life and reigned with Christ a thousand years.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation%2020:4&version=NIV

Good touch on the solos and arrangement, by the way.
I can't take credit on the guitar playing, I only played 2 measures of "real" guitar right before the first verse starts....I am too out of shape on that genre....not that I ever pursed it with much effort.....so I was going to do a lot of chord change and tempo change stuff, but was befuddled and overwhelmed.... :(

.....but the mixing was an interesting challenge in itself: trying to fit the "sound" of the genre.

......Like MrEWorm, it's not my preferred genre to listen to, but trying to write in a different genre, makes you appreciate the skill it takes for those who do. For example, I've never been particularly interested in watching figure skating, but just spending a little time on the ice makes me appreciate what it would take to get to that level.

.....so I guess a good challenge for me would be to practice guitar so I could play those riffs "live"....but we'll see.

Hi Jim,
The second and third verses didnt grab me as much as v1 but of the two actually liked verse three better than two.
Interesting
The chorus probably works but thought it could be fleshed out a little more (Although I really know little about this style)

Agreed. Approaching the lyrics, I was sure someone had done this before so I googled and youtubed and came across Lord Belial's "Mark of the Beast"
http://www.mp3lyrics.org/l/lord-belial/mark/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibRasBCfnMs

....while I knew there would not be much "originality" to this approach, having an "blue print" of another song is one way I read about expanding as a songwriter; especially if it is an unfamiliar genre.

....but actually I think in their song, they are referring to the upside down pentagram.....which may or may not be the actual mark referred to in Revelation.

Thanks to all for the listens and posts! :D

James


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(@stikman)
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Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 237
 

Well James you've certainly brought out the devil on this one.

I agree pretty much with the other comments. The bible reference would seem important to me but it seems out of place with the cheekiness of the first two verses. Still I think it works.

Interesting and fun listen. I admire your ability to write in any genre you decide to try.

Now I'm a bit afraid to use my debit card

Ernie

"All battles are first won or lost in the mind." - Joan of Arc

"It took me about 20 years to figure out how to write without inspiration. Thankfully, I got there." - Leon Russell


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(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Well James you've certainly brought out the devil on this one.

I agree pretty much with the other comments. The bible reference would seem important to me but it seems out of place with the cheekiness of the first two verses. Still I think it works.

Me, too :?

Interesting and fun listen. I admire your ability to write in any genre you decide to try.
Thanks for the encouragement. I think the important thing is you can grabs little bits of nuggets from trying the different genres which allows you more diversity....even if you learn what doesn't work....it's still learning
Now I'm a bit afraid to use my debit card

Thanks for the listen and post, Ernie. :D

James


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(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Possible alternative 3rd verse:

The revelation of Apostle John
For those with ears to hear then listen on
The saints are restless in times as dark as these
When souls are offered retail therapy

It brings the focus back to shopping....Feedback?


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(@davidhodge)
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Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 4485
 

Not really sure. Definitely fits in with the first two better, but (of course) the original third verse is growing on me. That's the way it aways seems to go sometimes!

Will hum it about during the course of the day and see...

Peace


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(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 2855
Topic starter  

Ok try this one on:

In this dark hour the Anti-Christ reigns
The graves are filling up with headless saints
Still shopping carts are filling up with ease
As souls are offered retail therapy

or

In this dark hour the Anti-Christ reigns
The graves are filling up with headless saints
But you can fill your carts; set your mind at ease
When souls are offered retail therapy

**POOF CHANGES MADE **

>Will hum it about during the course of the day and see...

Boy, Dave, I hope someone doesn't over hear you humming the song throughout today and you happen to slip into singing "Mark of the Beast, Mark of the Beast 666"


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