Hi,ok i wrote this........pretty obvious wot it is but ill leave it for interpretation.....
(Verse)
If only things had never changed
If things could be the same
Id never be scared to look again
To see the dust and memories
(Chorus)
So if id wipe the broken glass
If it could mend my broken heart
If that moment didnt fade
Would we be here today
Today
(Verse)
All the pain thats trapped behind
The broken dreams you left to die
Id throw it out into the night
But i cant let it leave my sight
pretty cr*p but hey............
Cheers
NeM H
Rain Shadow
Pretty Crappy? No. Yes, Its short, but it has a lot of potential! This is pretty good for whats here but It really could use another couple verses. Get working and lets see what this could be!
Keep up the good work
bstguitarist
KB1LQC
No matter what anyone says, these four men were the Innovators! of modern Rock & Roll!
Morse Code... Music on it's own
Good start, just build on what you have so far :D :D You seem to make use of the short and to the point method of song writting-this is a good approach :!: I like the keep it simple rule myself, of course i am pretty simple :wink: LOL :lol: :lol: keep up the good work--the dog
What you have for a beginning is good, but it is a little short. But, if that is what you like writing (and I don't blame you, I play in a band, none of our songs go over 2 and a half minutes long) then it needs just a little more strength. The problem I personally find with short songs is that they just don't have enough to them. This may sound like more work than it's worth, but when I want to write something short I try to start big. Write out like 5 to 7 verses, even if half of each of them is really bad. Then kinda meld them together where you think they would fit, taking the best line(s) from each one and reforming them until you have some really strong couple verses.
That's just my .02, and just so you know, by and large, I did like your song,
Cya later,
Cyrus
Im with Cyrus and Dog on this one.
Definitely stick with the short and to the point method for your verses but give us some more verses. lol
My last posting I tried to get away from the normal meter of a standard song but I think it is actually pretty bad. The fact is that the standards are the standards for a reason. The only think lacking here is more verses.
TheJackal.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=283413
Only dead fish go with the flow.
thanks a lot guys.... :D , cheers everyone...i took it all in and ill re-do it and post it again as soon as i can,
thanks again!!!
NeM
Rain Shadow
LostBeggining
Not much to say that hasn't been covered already. Well structured song but could use another verse or two.
Nice Work!
Celt
