Ever get annoying comments?
I just played a show where a man came up to me, called me "darling" and told me how "proud" he was that I got through it! I was so furious I was actually speechless. I've been playing guitar a long time, and sadly that was far from the first comment of that nature that I've heard, but I always seem to freeze up on the spot. I found this post that has some stuff I've heard before: http://takelessons.com/blog/annoying-things-people-say-to-women-who-play-guitar-z01 . Have you ladies gotten any comments like these? How do you even react??
Years ago I had a guy who was not even a musician tell me that guitar is a man's instrument. I don't have any great comebacks. Things are a lot better than when I started playing in the 60s. Not sure if that's because things are really better or if it's because I'm now in my 60s.
There are people in this world who seem to enjoy making other people uncomfortable. There is nothing we can do about that.
I will not lower myself to their level. Thank you for your opinion is about the best I can do.
I will not let them upset me because I know they are just being mean. The dance floor full of people, the applause after almost every song, and the people who come up at the end of the gig and say "Thank you for giving us a wonderful evening" (or something to that effect) far outnumber the people who go through life wanting to be jerks.
If their criticism seems honest, I'll thank them and evaluate it and if I agree, I'll fix the problem.
In either case, I thank them for their opinion. It puts the mean people off guard, and for the ones honestly trying to help it makes them feel like they are helping.
As far as female musicians are concerned. I only have one way of evaluating a musician -- can you play? I don't care if you are male, female, gay, straight, or what your race or religion is. Can you play? That's what counts.
I've never said, "You play good for a girl" or anything like that. I would be embarrassed to come off like that.
But I do remember the days when if a woman played electric guitar, other people would have 'the attitude'. Fortunately most of us are more civilized now.
My wife is a good guitar player, decent synth player, and has vocal chops that make me both happy for her and jealous that no matter how hard I work at it, I'll never sing that well (but I play better sax and guitar so at least I've got something <wink/grin>). When I met her she was in another band, both our bands broke up and we started a 5 piece band together. That was 37 years ago. The 5 piece band became a duo in the 1980s and meeting her was the second best thing that ever happened to me -- the saxophone was first, because if it wasn't for that, I never would have met her.
Insights and incites by Notes
Bob "Notes" Norton
Owner, Norton Music http://www.nortonmusic.com Add-on Styles for Band-in-a-Box and Microsoft SongSmith
The Sophisticats http://www.s-cats.com >^. .^< >^. .^<