Hi John,Beatleesque They were/are influential. :wink: Thanks for the listen and post :DJames

***POOF*** Lines swapped :mrgreen:

tie in :lol: It's not the case in the first verse so no reason for it to be so in the second. Good point :D If anything, "asking for Heaven" is k...

Hi David, consider swapping the second lines of each stanza in order to make them flow better with the first line: Thanks for the confirmation. Th...

Hi Renee, I don't understand how the singer is a genie and loves the woman that the man wants. I'm assuming that the man is the one who picked up the ...

Here is a recent article that talks about the idea of showing instead of telling:Show—Don’t Tell: 3 Steps to Writing Better Lyrics

Hi John,"accidental post -can't delete." That's the story of my life. :lol: Yes, too true...in life there are no erase/rewind or cut/edit or unpost ...

accidental post -can't delete

Hi John, Good start :D nice job on the vocals and delivery. The uke doesn't seem to quite fit the somber/sinister mood, but the chords do.Suggestion:...

Hi Renee, Good start :DI like a lot of what's going on especially the intro and vs chord progression. I also like the variation in line deliveries.Th...

Hi Vic,Nice start and imagery. :D Good word choices and images. +1Suggestions:V1 and V2 seem to be conveying the same idea, but V2 does it better, so...

Hi Vic,Might be a nice idea to throw a tambourine I couldn't get a tambourine to work out, so I put in a drum loop to play around with it....no worri...

I have to disagree with James. Emotions are not concrete. Unless you're going to use metaphors such as an empty room or a quiet house. Here is an exa...