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martin-6
@martin-6
Honorable Member
Joined: Nov 21, 2004
Topics: 64 / Replies: 354
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Re: Y9 W18 - If This Is Love Then Why Is Everything Shaking?

Hi all, thanks for the comments.I meant recall as in memories, so I changed the line to "Promises we can't recall". Still has the double meaning which...

13 years ago
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Re: Y9W7 On the Conk Train

Fantastic imagery, it's like we're in a film. And the Oscar for location, casting, dialogue, costumes, props, and writing, goes to.... wilhelmina!

13 years ago
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Re: Y9W18 — The Code

I think it's one of those ones I really need to hear to come to grips with the words.I do like the "through X I gain Y..." part though.

13 years ago
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Re: Y9 W17 - Mr Cole

Hi James,I wasn't sure about naming him Cole actually. At first it was Mr Tibbs. Any name would do but as you noticed I ended up with one that sounds ...

13 years ago
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Re: Y9 W18 - NO!

I love it! You told a classic story in a very expressive way thanks to the repetition of words and syllables. A very valid response to the topic IMO.T...

13 years ago
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Re: Y9W17 In Love Again

It sounds quite poetic and pleasing... I like the imagery. Add a few more verses and it would seem to me more like a full song rather than a promising...

13 years ago
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Re: Y9W17 Blackout

Very much enjoyed the read and especially your amusing list of unlikely tasks which needed completing by the AFB members!

13 years ago
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13 years ago
Replies: 3
Views: 646
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Re: SSG9 - Week4 - Paradise Lost

It's a good story; I tend to agree with James about the phrasing of certain lines sounding a little... weird. Particularly the end of the lines.Here a...

13 years ago
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Re: Yr 9 - Week 4 - Forest Fires

This reads super nicely and the fire metaphor makes it very poetic. Jay, this is the kind of song that inspires me to write!Lying in bed this morning ...

13 years ago
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Re: Year 9 Wk 4 Once Upon A Summer's Day

A really good simple story with nice clear imagery.The only feedback I can think of at the moment is that the line "I value that time we spent togethe...

13 years ago
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Re: Y9W3 Channeling Captain Kirk

Far out! In general I like the track, although there are a couple of points where the use of non-English words might be considered a little overboard....

13 years ago
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Re: Year 9 Wk 3 Going Back To Tupelo/MP3 Added

John,this looks like a seriously polished piece! Another one of your best.Keep up the good writing.

13 years ago
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Re: Y9 W3 Twinless Twin

Cool concept for a song, and some of the writing is really direct and concise. Awesome job.I particularly like the opening couplet:The day I was born,...

13 years ago
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