Hey hey.
I've written two songs, both instrumental.....aaaaand another song with lyrics, but I don't QUITE have the music finished. I almost do.
Anyway.....go to this website http://petetrixrox.tripod.com/
Oh, just some brief history on them.
Static....well, one take instrumental improv solo, done on sound recorder, and thusly....sound quality sucks.
Untitled Reject, as you can tell, is an untitled reject. I messed up on the drum beat, and in order to hide mistakes I added some wierd guitar distortion...and...in an attempt to make it sound cool...added bass ang guitar....which both.....failed. So here you go!
And then I have a third song, along with others i'm writing now, I'm expirementing with a Pink Floyd-ish progressive rock sound.
As Yet Untitled
Need some time to think about life
Ask myself where I went wrong.
The only answer I can give myself
Is that I didn't love enough.
Watch the kid from the window.
Make sure he does nothin' funny.
Ask myself where I went wrong.
Maybe it's cause I'm crazy.
Hide from the sun, and from the light.
Lock the doors and barre the windows.
Ask myself where I went wrong.
It's because everyone is insane.
Talk to the chair in the darkness.
Ask it where I went wrong
"That's easy" it says, and answers.
"It's cause you started to love."
Hide from the chair in the darkness
Hide from the shadows on the walls
Ask myself where I went wrong.
Maybe I really am psycho.
Nurture the bed, love it so.
Talk to the voice inside my head.
Ask the voice where I went wrong.
It laughs, and tells me to shut up.
I wish I could just, fade away.
Hide from the voice inside my head.
It ask the chair, where I went wrong.
"Don't care" says the chair, "Let's eat him instead."
(C) Amazing_ness (My name is withheld)
This is my week long legacy.
Whadda think?
Hey.
The 3rd is interesting (haven't listened to the instrumentals). I think it would grab the listener at the outset more, though, if maybe you rearranged the verses a little. Hard to say for sure since I don't have the music to key in on, but I just assume it's the same chord progression on each verse? Anyway, maybe play around with this idea and see if it leads anywhere fruitful.
Try working up a different chord progression that first the lyrics (maybe a slight modulation on the main progression, or could be a sharp contrast). Then try moving the first two verses to later in the song (just before the last), and playing those verses with the different progression, then you move back into the original chord progression for the last verse. You might wind up with a nice little dramatic build and release, and a little variety to keep the listener's interest. Even if you try it and it doesn't work, its a good excercise so nothing ventured nothing gained. Keep up the good work!
Hide from the sun, and from the light.
Lock the doors and barre the windows.
Ask myself where I went wrong.
It's because everyone is insane.
Talk to the chair in the darkness.
Ask it where I went wrong
"That's easy" it says, and answers.
"It's cause you started to love."
Hide from the chair in the darkness
Hide from the shadows on the walls
Ask myself where I went wrong.
Maybe I really am psycho.
Nurture the bed, love it so.
Talk to the voice inside my head.
Ask the voice where I went wrong.
It laughs, and tells me to shut up.
....Need some time to think about life
....Ask myself where I went wrong.
....The only answer I can give myself
....Is that I didn't love enough.
....Watch the kid from the window.
....Make sure he does nothin' funny.
....Ask myself where I went wrong.
....Maybe it's cause I'm crazy.
I wish I could just, fade away.
Hide from the voice inside my head.
It ask the chair, where I went wrong.
"Don't care" says the chair, "Let's eat him instead."
