Hey guys, here is the first song i've ever wrote. I have attached an audio file so you can listen to how i'd like it to sound if you want but don't mind the signing. http://media.putfile.com/A-Soldiers-Dream i'd just like some advice on how to improve it and such. have a good one. peace
A Soldier's Dream Jan. 18/2007
The soldier lies there in a dream
Living in his world of peace
His family worries about his fate
100,000 miles away
A century of war was raging
We thought it was almost through
Then came 9/11
100 more wars fought for heaven
The soldier raises his rifle
Artillery flies through the air
Thousands of lives are torn apart
Why don't we have a heart?
War against good and evil
Who do we think we are?
Thousands must die for us to know
Will our good ever show?
The soldier worries about his boy
Wonders why he's fighting for freedom
He doesn't understand it all
Hopes his boy will never fall
Little kids around the world
They don't know anything else
How can they ever get by
If we never let them fly
The soldier lies there in a dream
Living in his world of peace
His family worries about his fate
100,000 miles away
I like your lyrics this has good potential needs a bit of tweeking threw out the song
but i also felt that the ending could maybe use a bit more thought
good luck, if i come up with anything i will let you know
:wink: Mystic
