Skip to content
Notifications
Clear all

A Song For You

17 Posts
2 Users
0 Reactions
3,668 Views
(@crashing-sun)
Eminent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 21
Topic starter  

(an older demo song at my link you can listen to and read about. i just updated all my demo #2 material)

out of the way or keep moving on
you might make a knight but you're still a pawn
running in circles all the time
you must get dizzy when walking down the line

you say that the world is cold
so take off that coat and don't grow old
smile for your warmth and learn to shine
just turn out the light after nine

CHORUS
I know what you're going to say and
I think that it's okay and
I know when you're feeling blue
I can sing a song for you / sing a song for you

I know that your hair fell out
your vision is blurred and you just stare about
your heart might fail and it's hard to hear
that's what you get for drinking everclear

I know that it burns inside
that's just the price you paid for your ride
there's still no cure but ease your strife
you can still lead a normal life

turn with the wheel that presses on
spinning the world but still can't find the dawn
running in circles all the time
you must get dizzy when walking down the line

CHORUS

"Join the crazed institution of the stars... be the man that you think you really are... and you can wear a crown of roses around your cranium, live and die upon your cross of platinum..."


   
Quote
(@cooker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 112
 

hey..sounds like a chapter from my lifes story...gonna check the website out...cooker

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"


   
ReplyQuote
(@cooker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 112
 

Hey..woulda bet money that it was gonna be a hard rock song the way I read it....sounds good..and quirky..good job kinda nirvanaish...
the other songs I liked also...wish I could write something revolving around world events...have always wanted to..seem to be self involved as of late...cooker

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"


   
ReplyQuote
(@crashing-sun)
Eminent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 21
Topic starter  

That's why it's important to link the music or at least say what style you're going for if you haven't recorded or copyrighted it yet.

Anyway thanks for listening. Let me know if you have anything you want feedback on.

"Join the crazed institution of the stars... be the man that you think you really are... and you can wear a crown of roses around your cranium, live and die upon your cross of platinum..."


   
ReplyQuote
(@cooker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 112
 

I agree.,,about making a link or referal to style..I have read a lot of lyrics TO songs on GN...but most don`t include the musical idea they had in mind..I think it makes it easier to help people with your opinion if they at least offered that info..to me it`s like eating food and then not digesting it...
my crap is of older post`s over the last year or so..click on "cooker" somewhere on the main songwritng page ..then search "find all post by cooker" if you have the inclination
At the moment I,m a one man band..16 trac boss,small mixer and guitars..It`s been a trip with the machine learning curve and playing instruments I don`t know anything about,not to mention I`,m doin` the vocals also..I`ll send you something I have been working on(just lyrics)...my arranging is my problem..finally made a decision and am working on a lead part......
I will send the rough draft as I wrote it and chords..anything you have to say is cool...cooker

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"


   
ReplyQuote
(@crashing-sun)
Eminent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 21
Topic starter  

Those are a lot of posts to go through so please send a link if you want. I can help with anything you've got, arrangements too.

"Join the crazed institution of the stars... be the man that you think you really are... and you can wear a crown of roses around your cranium, live and die upon your cross of platinum..."


   
ReplyQuote
(@cooker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 112
 

sent you a private message with one song...

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"


   
ReplyQuote
(@crashing-sun)
Eminent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 21
Topic starter  

I didn't get anything.

"Join the crazed institution of the stars... be the man that you think you really are... and you can wear a crown of roses around your cranium, live and die upon your cross of platinum..."


   
ReplyQuote
(@cooker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 112
 

I sent it via private message..(if you are set up to recieve them should be a shortcut button at the top of the page)..
here it is via posting: in G, 4/4, 120,,percussion trac is similar to Eagles :Lyin` Eyes"..rim shot on the two beat..basically a 4 chord..G Am7 Bmsus4( I think)..same fingering as Am7 2 frets up and back to Am7..

I have since modified my arrangement as far as bridge and chorus (verse melody too )but would be interested in what you think with the info I have given..(the verse melody follows the chords(pitchwise) seems obvious I know but it wasn`t LOL

Added a few words here and there also..the verses repeat the 4 chords as G Am7 Bmsus4 Am7 ...The Bmsus4 is close sounding to a D but I have stuck with the Bmsus4....(I like how it relates to the sung note)...

When you feel the need to move to the D.....on the way back to the 1 chord it is via a simple rundwn......when you feel the need to go to an Am from D I use these notes while playing a D chord..open D pluck,D strum(up,dwn up),Cnote pluck then strum(up dwn up), Bnote pluck then strum(up dwn up),counted as 1+2+3+4+/2+2+fingered..G,F#,G,A(3+4+)to Am...
Hope its not too confusing....feel free to do what ever comes to mind first,i would be interested either way..cooker

Do you think that Heaven holds a place for a man like me
One who knows his wrong from his right
One who`s made all the wrong choices all along
One who just-hasn`t seen the light

And it doesn`t seem fair
And it doesn`t seem right
That Heaven would hold a place for me.....
But if Heaven holds a place for me
The best thing I could do
Is take the place that Heaven holds for me
And give it to you

I still look up at the stars on a cold October`s night
Wondering why-why am I here
They`re so big and bright and I am so small
the answers are never really clear

Sometimes the answers to the questions I ask
Are much more than I can bear
The truth runs deeper than what meets the eye
And I wonder why you`d care

All input is welcome in any way,shape or form..remember, if you find you don`t like it..you can print it and use it to start the woodstove!

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"


   
ReplyQuote
(@crashing-sun)
Eminent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 21
Topic starter  

I'll take a look but you should really post this to your own thread so maybe others will respond too. I don't suppose you have rough recording of this online?

First thought off the bat third repetition in the chorus:
The best thing I could do
Is take the place that Heaven holds for me
And give it to you

I thought "take the place that Heaven holds for me" was too much the third time lyrically but with the music it may flow better... I'm not sure yet...

I like the concept... build on it... come up with more reasons why you're bad but also why you deserve redemption and keep the best ones for the song...

"Join the crazed institution of the stars... be the man that you think you really are... and you can wear a crown of roses around your cranium, live and die upon your cross of platinum..."


   
ReplyQuote
(@cooker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 112
 

crash hey,,I posted it awhile ago..limited response..
No recording as of yet....just tracs on a br1600 unmixed...
the repetition never occured to me as being to much..I just wondered that it sounded slow and stretched out (I had this idea in my head that the "flow" in a song should pick up momentum during the chorus...and singing it now with background licks, sets it off okay (musical ideas to fill and accent)...I will resend with the format I am currently working with so you get an idea...
Originally it was done with that whole chorus sung after each vs, the 5th and 6th lines acting as prechorus and I used the 3rd vs as a bridge....made for a long song with an instrumental added...here is newest

8bar intro(G,Am7,Bmsus4,Am7) x2
V1
Do you think that Heaven holds a place for a man like me
One who knows his wrong from his right
One who`s made all the wrong choices all along
One who just-hasn`t seen the light

CH
And it doesn`t seem fair
And it doesn`t seem right
That Heaven would hold a place for me.....

V2
I still look at the stars on a cold October`s night
Wondering why-why am I here
They`re so big and bright and I am so small
the answers are never really clear

CH
And it doesn`t seem fair
And it doesn`t seem right
That Heaven would hold a place for me.....

Brdge
But if Heaven even holds a place for me
The best thing I could hope to do
Is take the place that Heaven holds for me
And give it to you

12bar instr?

V3
Sometimes the answers to the questions I ask myself
Are much more than I can bear
The truth runs deeper than what meets the eye
And I wonder why you`d care

I agree it seems to need more material...otherwise it is esoteric..but I am at a loss for words at the moment in that respect..yadayadayada...thx for your comments...

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"


   
ReplyQuote
(@crashing-sun)
Eminent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 21
Topic starter  

What's the Bmsus4 chord and what are you playing for the chorus? I'll give this s run through at home.

"Join the crazed institution of the stars... be the man that you think you really are... and you can wear a crown of roses around your cranium, live and die upon your cross of platinum..."


   
ReplyQuote
(@cooker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 112
 

The Bmsus4 chord is the closest "name" I could find for that fingering...I play an Am7(two fingers) and then slide that up two frets for the Bmsus4 chord....
chorus= G,Am7,Bmsus4,Am7,G,Am7,D...
V1
G Am7 Bmsus4 Am7
Do you think that Heaven holds a place for a man like me
G Am7 Bmsu4 Am7
One who knows his wrong from his ri---------ght
G Am7 Bmsus4 Am7
One who`s made all the wrong choices all along
G Am7 Bmsus4 Am7
One who just-hasn`t seen the li-----------ght
Ch
G Am7
And it doesn`t seem fair
Bmsus4 Am7
And it doesn`t seem right
G Am7 D
That Heaven would hold a place for me..... (rundwn(over a D chord..D D/C,D/B,D/A,F# to G(1chord) and then V2..
Then after V2 sing chorus followed by bridge..using the notes I sent earlier to an Am....
D+2+ (D/C)+4+,(D/B)+2+G,F#,G,A..to bridge

Brdg
Am Am7 D.....(single note lick ,G,F#,G,A)
But if Heaven even holds a place for me
Am Am7 D...lick
The best thing I could hope to do
Am Am7 D
Is take the place that Heaven holds for me
G
And give it to you
V2
I still look at the stars on a cold October`s night
Wondering why-why am I here
They`re so big and bright and I am so small
the answers are never really clear
V3
Sometimes the answers to the questions I ask myself
Are much more than I can bear
The truth runs deeper than what meets the eye
And I wonder why you`d care

Repeat chorus and bridge part .... hope that gives you a better idea...

I have dabbled with writing lyrics over the years but never tried "songs" as arrangements other than the basic chords and had NO clue as how to work...I think I have good ideas and think I know how I want them to sound...just get confused(overwelmed) with choices and have a tough time making a decision...pulled the trigger and bought some equipment,,guess it takes practice like anything else...yadayadayada

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"


   
ReplyQuote
(@cooker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 112
 

just noticed after I sent last msg w chords and all..that they didn`t show up in the correct space,,,bummer..will retry..thank God I saved that to notepad...
The Bmsus4 chord is the closest "name" I could find for that fingering...I play an Am7(two fingers) and then slide that up two frets for the Bmsus4 chord....
chorus= G,Am7,Bmsus4,Am7,G,Am7,D...
V1
G Am7 Bmsus4 Am7
Do you think that Heaven holds a place for a man like me
G Am7 Bmsu4 Am7
One who knows his wrong from his ri---------ght
G Am7 Bmsus4 Am7
One who`s made all the wrong choices all along
G Am7 Bmsus4 Am7
One who just-hasn`t seen the li-----------ght
Ch
G Am7
And it doesn`t seem fair
Bmsus4 Am7
And it doesn`t seem right
G Am7 D
That Heaven would hold a place for me..... (rundwn(over a D chord..D D/C,D/B,D/A,F# to G(1chord) and then V2..
Then after V2 sing chorus followed by bridge..using the notes I sent earlier to an Am....
D+2+ (D/C)+4+,(D/B)+2+G,F#,G,A..to bridge

Brdg
Am Am7 D.....(single note lick ,G,F#,G,A)
But if Heaven even holds a place for me
Am Am7 D...lick
The best thing I could hope to do
Am Am7 D
Is take the place that Heaven holds for me
G
And give it to you
V2
I still look at the stars on a cold October`s night
Wondering why-why am I here
They`re so big and bright and I am so small
the answers are never really clear
V3
Sometimes the answers to the questions I ask myself
Are much more than I can bear
The truth runs deeper than what meets the eye
And I wonder why you`d care

Repeat chorus and bridge part ....

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"


   
ReplyQuote
(@cooker)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 112
 

Got an alternate email address...GNoise site won`t send lyrics text with chord names above them in correct posistion...

You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"


   
ReplyQuote
Page 1 / 2