I'm not quite sure why I'm posting this. On the one hand, I want to show it off because I think most of the song itself is good, or at least original, but on the other hand, the bridge sucks, and my singing has been described as "torturously awful". (You have been warned.) Please tell me what you think of the song itself, and give me any advice you have on how to improve the song, my singing, or my guitar playing.
(This song was recorded in GarageBand, a recording program that comes with Macs. The drums are loops but everything else is mine. I would've added keyboards (which includes bass) but there were complications in setting the midi keyboard up with the computer so that'll have to wait.)
http://media.putfile.com/Comic-Book-World
Comic Book World
It started as a hidden treasure but I found out
You know how to color the world but I don't
so I'll draw the lines around us, you'll fill them in
We can make our home
It could've been a nicer world if we took our time
but it's bright and plastic, fake and static, unironic
you're too predictable, I'm too cold
time to wander back home
I remember from the space between the panels
each facial expression I can only assume
I wish I could remember what it was in the first place
It started as a hidden treasure that you kept yours
but you shared it and we're better off this way
I'll draw the lines around us, you'll fill them in
We can make our home
i m finding it hard to follow the story
i think you need to add more detail so the reader can see whats happening more clearly
you could try visualizing your song as a video and tell the listner how you see the it playing out
good luck
:wink: mystic
