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Long song a wrote, ...
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Long song a wrote, very story driven.

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Eminent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 15
Topic starter  

I like it a lot, I just wrote it sitting at my computer. I think I'd write a strong bass-driven musical part with very rhythmic vocals. IDK though. Any suggestions or comments are appreciated. Thanks

I was spending my day on the Parisian streets
Sleeping by day and wandering by night
I was waiting for something, but I didn't know what
Until one day I took my things and I rode out of sight

I came to a town, just south of Auvers-sur-Oise
I walked to a bar and I ordered a beer
The man was interesting and I waited for him
He came up to me and said "What are you doing here?"

I said, "Do I know you?" and he just said "Yes"
I said, "I don't remember" he didn't say a thing
I asked for directions to the Caves of Lascaux
Where the white doves fly and the running streams sing

"Well isn't that something?" he said with a grin
"I'm heading that way now, would you like to come along"
I said "I don't know, you'll have to convince me"
He laughed "I know you, why would I do you any harm"

His arguement was a good one and he seemed trustworthy
And I recognized the symbols sewn in his cape
So we took to the streets and searched for some food
To take on our journey to the Forbidden Caves

I envied his abilities to haggle for meat
He wasn't too smart and that's what I desired
But I never did tell him either of this things
Cause I was looking for trouble if I called him a liar

We drew up our plans and we took our vows in blood
Loylalty is the thing that I'd never forget
It seems strange now, but I felt like brother's too him
But that doesn't matter when you get stabbed in the back

We traveled for days, the rain and the heat
We climbed upon hills and waded through rivers
He said he couldn't remember what his wife had told him
But all he remembered is he could never forgive her

We came to the caves on the night of Fifteen September
The wind was howling, and I welcomed the feeling
He said, "Cut the lights, and keep your self quiet
This is the treasure that I'm gonna be stealing"

I didn't cross my mind what he meant by "I'm"
I assumed he meant "we" but that was too much to ask
He pulled out his gun and held to my head
Saying "Thanks for the company, I'll be your last"

I followed his orders and opened the tomb in the floor
I grinned when I saw there were just bones turned to dust
No jewlels, no gold, no diamond necklace or bracelet
I turned to my captor and and I did not desire his loss

He dropped on his knees and cried at his failure
I took out my knife and stabbed him twice
I did feel pity but I felt more for my survival
He stumbled and fell into a hole in the ice

Gold and jewels, and a some bracelets and rings
I sat in a pile of elegant attire
I gave a quick salute to my fallen brother
Lifted his body and threw it in the fire

I didn't mean any disrespect by my actions
In fact I only meant the best things in my mind
I had blessed his body and his final resting place
He was at peace with himself, he left nothing behind

I stopped myself as I thought how to run with my bounty
It's important to note that I never followed through with the plan
This man had a wife and I remembered our blood oath
This was his treasure and it belonged in his hands

I buried his ashes in the gold where he would have wished
I was worried about what he wanted and not what I could get
That's why I left the gold, one of my excuses
Maybe some other time, that's how I justified it

Eminent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 15
Topic starter  

Oh BTW. This is one of my first posts and I've been writing lyrics seriously for like two months maybe. I play guitar and I am and currently in a band and we only do some classic rock covers right now.

Eminent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 15
Topic starter  

Anybody want to comment. I'd like just one before bed