Love You And Leave You

anyone?

It was ok, I guess. but i didn't understand why did you spell Cuz like Coz in my preferance it made it rhyme and flow alot worse and

I cant,
go on

this part with the comma didn't make it flow as well as with out one so i thought. maybe I read it with a diffrent rhythm then you though but to me the flow seemed a little bit off.
This part
Did you hear me or are you not listening?
Stop being silly, quit pretending your thinking
So Just be honest,
Hear what's in my heart now
Coz I know I've got to let you down somehow

the first line seems to go well with the other lines except for the second one. it just feels a little awkward when I read it. Plus it's hard to understand. sorry for being so critical like i said maybe it's the way i read it though.

yeh i know what u mean, when i sing it it flows ok...i sing the chorus like really extending the 'i cant' bit
i was trying to get that with the commer!

sounds good to me man...great lyrics...sounds like once u get guitar and drums and bass and evrything, this could be hard rock...like the chorus

"I cant...GO ON..." or something like that...good work.

yeah most of the stuff i write is rock or punk rock but that doesnt always come across in writing but hey its all good! no ones said anything horrible to me yet and ive only written 5 sougs i think in my life and they seem to have been taken quite well!