heya guys, iv been writing for a while now (music and lyrics) and thought i might see what you guys thought of my writing style, personally i like deep and impenetrable lyrics but i understand that a great song is something you can relate to, so i differ from song to song. this is an older one of mine about how the brightest star burns shortest, in particular fame. it is the shortest of all my songs.
Magnesium
This time I won't let you in again
My social fall from grace, tell me what I want again
It's too late to make amends of it
It's too soon to hope this ends it
With the rain on the window
And the shine in your eyes
A glint of arsenic in the potion
Of your life
We can be some of the few
Who can find a way through
A touch of sugar to take the bitterness away
A dab of glue just here and there, to make sure that you stay
How long will you wait here?
Falling asleep to the sound of the city, through the windows in your room
The rumble of people, always on the move…just like you…
And how long will you wait here?
Lay your head down to the sights and the sounds, and the names scratched on the wall
A record of people, who made it before…before you
How long will you stay here?
Getting your rush from the sound of the drums beating to the rhythm of your heart
The hubbub of people screaming out for more, of your drug…
And how long will you wait here?
Lay your head down to the sights and the sounds, of the world outside your room
A world full of people, who made it before…before you
thats all...
I like these lyrics coleclark.
Without hearing it, the structure and rythm is really hard to figure out, but the lyrics themselves are very expressive and paint a wonderful picture in my head.
With the rain on the window
And the shine in your eyes
are my favourite two lines.
Pete
ETD - Formerly "10141748 - Reincarnate"
thanks pete,
those lines kinda represent wanting the impossible, as its hard to get the sun in your eyes when its raining...
the hard part is, no matter how much work you put into lyrics, everyone will interpret them differently to what you had originally thought of. so i guess you just have to be happy with them getting out of it what they want to hear and myself being able to say what i want to say
harry
i guess you just have to be happy with them getting out of it what they want to hear and myself being able to say what i want to say
harry
Thats so true Harry. As a songwriter, my first obligation is to the song and myself. Atleast, that is my feeling. I dont mind other bending it to their interpretations but it wasnt written for them. That might be different if I were making a billion bucks. LOL
I like the lyrics alot. Its hard for me to critique something that i cant hear but I do like it alot.
Jim
“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” - David Russell (Scottish classical Guitarist. b.1942)
when i get around to recording it (and posting it in the singing section) il make a link here so people can listen to it and make more sense of it
imagery's intense. the message i get is an overall theme of fame, stress of city(executive)life, tryna live up to your predecessors and influences. close?
could be longer though. maybe repeat some verses.
favorite verse: How long will you wait here?
Falling asleep to the sound of the city, through the windows in your room
The rumble of people, always on the move…just like you…
but what does "A glint of arsenic in the potion Of your life" mean? alcohol/drug reference?
it means although the desire for fame is only a small part of your life it taints the rest of it.
holy shit, that's deep.
(i didnt actually write "poop", the forum censored me.)
haha...dilbert got shut down by a server :lol:
damn the irony. lol
THEY DID IT AGAIN! I WROTE DAM*! DAM**IT!
