So here's another song that I'm working on, I guess it would help if I posted the music as well, but that's not complete yet. It's a very slow ballad.
The song came about because I couldn't get the last line of the chorus out of my head, with the melody it had, so I just wrote it down when I woke up one morning, and the rest seemed to follow. It's been rattling around for a while, but I finally decided to post it.
I seem to keep with my theme of making the chorus different each time (except for the last one, it just matches the imagery.) Any help on making this a bit better would be great, I'll have rough music up in a couple days, just need to find time to do the recording.
Oh, and yes, I know the line "You ain't seen nothing yet" is a BTO song, but when I wrote it I didn't even realize it the melody and the pace is so far off from it. Once it was done I saw it, but left it as it's the line that makes the song, well, the song.
They pulled into the field in early fall
Laid the blanket out onto the grass
The sun bowed it's head turning the blues into red
Turned and smiled at the wonder of the night
As the stars begin to fall from the sky
He sees the wonder reflected in her eyes
She turns to him and says that shes in love
Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet.
As they laid and watched their midnight show
He held her close against his side
Their hearts began to beat in time
And they swore they were the only ones alive
And all the passion and the fire they held inside
Came to life beneath those streaks of light
He turns to her and says that he's in love
Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet
They fell asleep as the show came to an end
Wrapped up to hold the love inside
As the sun lifted it's head to break they day
In each others arms, they both began to cry
And the passion and the fire they felt inside
Came to life beneath those streaks of light
They now know what it feels like to be in love
Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet
No baby, you ain't seen nothing yet.
In Space, no one can hear me sing!
Quick question - did you intend to turn it from first person to 3rd person in the second verse? I got thrown off by that.
The imagery is good.
did you intend to turn it from first person to 3rd person in the second verse? I got thrown off by that.
Nope, sure didn't thanks for pointing that you, I edited the above post
Thanks for the imagery comment, it's pretty much what I was shooting for, was good use of it.
In Space, no one can hear me sing!
Yeah the imagery is very "mellow" and i guess it suits the song since it's meant to be a slow ballad.
And posting the music would be a help yes, since while readin the script the 2nd and 3rd time i couldnt shake off a feeling that i was reading a poem.
there's a lot of difference between an open mind and a hole in the head !
Thanks, yeah, I've been a slacker in recording the music, and today when I actually went to do some recording I broke a string. :x I'll be buying more strings tomorrow so maybe on Monday, LOL
In Space, no one can hear me sing!
