Uncertain
There's something left for you and me
And everything's that in between.
But it only matters if you can see it,
And you can't see a thing.
So near yet so far down, I am feeling this.
what do you do when your angels
have all flown away?
All wrong and careless, will u stay?
what do you do when your angels
have all flown away?
All wrong and careless, what do u say?
My language become more outlandish,
with each day i spend.
So where do we go from here i say
broke apart the disguise
and slowly fade away...
So near yet so far down, I am feeling this.
what do you do when your angels
have all flown away?
All wrong and careless, will u stay?
what do you do when your angels
have all flown away?
All wrong and careless, what do u say?
Close my eyes and dream of ur smile,
and maybe tonite I can breathe for awhile.
what do you do when your angels
have all flown away?
All wrong and careless, will u stay?
what do you do when your angels
have all flown away?
All wrong and careless, what do u say?
I just close my eyes
And I am there,
but I am already too late.
"broke apart the disguise
and slowly fade away..."
tense issue here, it should be break apart the disguise. Its a song thought so maybe it was a style thing i dunno.
"what do you do when your angels
have all flown away?
All wrong and careless, will u stay?
what do you do when your angels
have all flown away?
All wrong and careless, what do u say?"
This part is cool, if i were you i would change the all wrong and careless part. I didn't really get what you meant. I think it would be awsome if you replaced it with something to continue that angel image. The lost love idea is covered in the verses so i think expanding that angel image would make the song stronger. Maybe something about them all being too busy, or not careing anymore. I mean its kinda what your saying anyway, but theres no clear image. So for instance something like
"what do you do when your angels
have all flown away?
Only watching over themselves, and thats how itll stay"
Thats kinda lame haha but you can think of something less wordy.
Good luck
"And above all, respond to all questions regarding a given song's tonal orientation in the following manner: Hell, it don't matter just kick it off!"
-Chris Thile
Hi electric,welcome to GNSC...something made me reread this several times,,,it was interesting..I`m not sure about the layout tho...as I said I reread it many times..GREAT first verse..but if you skip what I think you are using as chorus`s I lose track of the "story" by reading just the verses. I like the chorus in and of itself but not sure if it wouldn`t be served better bymaking a clearer picture via the verses...some seem to be shorter than others and I am confused about your intent...cooker
You can sleep when you`re dead!
"and baby all you need...is just a little more love"
