"Live Again"
V1
I can barely remember
the day of my capture
when I was cast into the box
gagged and bound
I collapsed to the ground
hearing only the turn of the locks
that day I thought I'd suffocate
that day I thought I'd die
so I closed my eyes and fell into myself
determined to live through the night
CHORUS
Rage against the captivity
strain against the restraints
awaken my mind
let me feel the pain
let me know what it's like to live again
awaken my mind
let me feel the chains
and remember what it was to be free again
V2
The years have crept
and I have kept
my eyes securely shut
I've counted the sighs
'till dinner arrives
while keeping time with my foot
the guards don't replace my weathered bonds
they don't even lock the gate
but still I'd lie docile in the cell
like an elephant tied to a stake
CHORUS
Rage against the captivity
strain against the restraints
awaken my mind
let me feel the pain
let me know what it's like to live again
awaken my mind
let me feel the chains
and remember what it was to be free again
BRIDGE
but I felt the ground shake yesterday
and at last I opened my eyes
was my blurry vision deceiving me
or did an open door lead to daylight
then I did something
I'd never done
I decided to test my strength
I pulled on the chains
and they came undone
with the searing sting of pain
On shakey legs I tried to run
I felt the cold air surge into my lungs
and as I caught my first glimpse of the sky
for the first time in years, I started to cry
CHORUS
Rage against the captivity
strain against the restraints
awaken my mind
let me feel the pain
let me know what it's like to live again
awaken my mind
let me feel the chains
and remember what it was to be free again
Let me know what it's like to live again
Let me know what it's like to live again
hi
how about "Against the Restraints "
as for the song I thought it was really nice and the flow was terrific
well done
L.K :arrow:
Aghhhh
Not only am I a senior citizen
I'm now a bloody senior member
Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?
over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )
It's always a pleasure to read your work, Portia. That second verse is really something - please tell me it's not about marriage.
I think "tried to run" rather than "attempted to run" works better in the bridge, but only cos I'm reading it quickly at work.
Best,
A :-)
"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk
Thanks for the comments guys.
Tried is definately better than attempted - I changed it.
Alan - no, it's not about a marriage - although I could see how someone could read it that way.
:) Portia
Portia,
I would also describe this as terrific - good work. I particularly like the chorus, and this bit is clever too:
I've counted the sighs
'till dinner arrives
while keeping time with my foot
Good stuff. Might I suggest 'For The First Time In Years' as a title. Nothing wrong with the other suggestions, but I quite like that one.
Unless you meant to call in 'Untitled so far'...
Just one thing that sat wrong with me:
that day I thought I'd suffocate
that day I knew I'd die
so I closed my eyes and fell into myself
determined to live through the night
There's nothing wrong with this. I see what you mean and all that. But first you say you'd knew you would die and then you are suddenly determined to live through the night. Seemed a bit of a contradiction to me. Maybe just change it to repeat 'That day I thought' like the line above. Or leave it as it is, up to you!
Great writing otherwise though, certainly.
G
Listen Louder Than You Play
gjbrake took the words right out of my mouth: 'I've counted the sighs/'til dinner arrives/while keeping time with my foot' - very skilfull; and the line 'that day I knew I'd die', I agree, would work better if it were changed to, 'that day I thought I'd die' or, if you don't want to repeat yourself, 'that day I expected to die'/'that day I reckoned I'd die' or something like that.
The verses and chorus combine to create an excellent narrative but I can't quite make my mind up about the final chorus. It seems to turn the song back in on itself. Perhaps that's intentional.
You do write some excellent, thought-provoking lyrics and these are no exception.
i like it, for a name id just pick a line you like from the song.
Hi, Im mike
"I dont know what world war III will be fought with, but world war IV will be fought with sticks and stones" -Albert Einstien
Thanks for all of the comments on the lyrics.
gjbrake and val - you're probably right. I changed knew to thought. I also made a few other minor alterations.
There is now an mp3 of this up at http://portia.dmusic.com just scroll down to the originals section (you can download or stream). It's now called "Live Again". It's really just a skeleton recording to give you an idea for the melody, etc - it's just "strings", "drums", and vocals. there's also no intro/outro, etc. Any comments, of course, would be appreciated.
:) Portia
