this is just a song i wrote and would be greatfull for any comments and criticisms of it
thank you
wont you tell me young girl
what makes you happy
is it the things unsaid
that tear you at the seams
is it the uncrtain things
which make us fear what the future brings
what makes you happy
judge me on what you want to loose today
change the colour of your eyes
to suit the situation
dependant on a nightmare
life in masterbation fuelled with our own lives
love is not golden
just a fuckin waste of time
cant you understand that
you might hurt somebody
caught up in this fantasy
arnt we stupid
the best word would be "free-form"
this is not a lyric, it doesn't tell a story, or describe a moment in time, or gather imagery together to hit an emotion, but...
it is decent poetry, I'd suggest gathering your thoughts a little more, and then try putting some more words on those thoughts
I don't follow my dreams, I just ask em' where they're going and catch up with them later.
-Mitch Hedburg
Did you see that!
