Personal opinion, obviously:
I like the opening ideas, but from 0:35 to 1:24 it drifts without sounding like it's got any real direction. From there to 1:58 you've got some good ideas but I think they need to be developed a little more in that section to stop them sounding repetitive. The return of the opening ideas at 1:58, slowed down, with the extra harmonics, is really effective.
So, I think it needs to be longer to develop some of your ideas in situ, and that will allow you to revisit that 50 seconds where I reckon some extra thought on where it's heading will pay dividends.
"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
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