Something I am working on

Hey Trev

I'm still finding it difficult to comment on other artists' creations because I'm a real beginner to the art of creating tunes, although I like listening to all types of music and have my own opinions on what I like and dislike.

I listen to lots of the new recordings and just don't post my thoughts...maybe I should... :?

So here we go IMHO - There's definitely a Spanish undertone to the melody which is nice, even though you are not using that style of strumming. With that in mind, I don't think the change in tempo works, unless you've got some lyrics that move with the tempo?

What about changing the strumming pattern somehow, rather than changing the tempo.

Anyways, just a thought. Very nice and clean - just like I want to play when I grow up... :wink:

Rock on!

D 8)

I think it needs words!!

I agree with peralthecat...words....the rhythm change would make sense with lyrics.
I like the strumming change idea of dylan's.
your guitar work sounds better.

Maybe something like this?

Waiting
The sun has set
Another hour spent
Hours of waiting
For your return

I was blinded
By my anger
The words I spoke
Were meant to hurt

But if I could
I would take it back
Please forgive me
I miss your love

I'm a fool
For what I said
And now I fear
You won't return

You've been wounded
By my words
I can't forget
Tears in your eyes

Another day
Has come and gone
I'm still waiting
For your return

hey trev, good to see you alive and kicking. :D If you'd like me to play a solo over part of it give me a PM. Good luck with it!

Trev my friend since last listening to you you have come on a mile. Your timing has improved no end and you are hitting those chords spot on. Congratulations on all the effort and it is sure paying off.

OK there is the backing track now go for it :wink:

Gerry

Thank everyone

I do have lyrics , and I am currently working on my singing a bit more before I add them , and I will PM you Ignar Hillstram when I have done it .. :lol:

Thanks for the offer , Gerry I have been working very hard on my playing and singing but my singing needs more work that and a blood disorder has kept me out of here for ages , I m still trying to find the time I use to have , but ge its hard now days work comittments and a family life ..

I ' ll try to pop in more , Pearl the words are all done just needs a decent voice :D

Thanks

Trev.. :wink:

Hey, Trev,
Long time, no hear! +1 to Gerry's comment; you're sounding great.
All the best on the health front, mate. Looking forward to hearing the final version.
Cheers.
:)

I do have lyrics
Oh well, one of these days . . . :|

you have to work on all of it at the same time, unfortunately. you can't wait to get one thing perfect then add it in. that's what i'm finding, anyway. just doesn't workl besides your voice is good.

KenRogers

Thanks for the effort dude , send me a sample of how you think your lyrics fit dude , nothing wrong in experimenting I suppose

Pearl : you smooth talker you :lol: I don't have a good voice in my ears anyway , what I meant I will add my voice to the recording when I have the music side on it finished , the B 7 arpeggio is stuffing me up a little as I slow down for it and and then try to fix that up by going fast for the next few strums , around 36-45 on this recording really shows that up ..

Thanks Boxboy : Nice to hear from you again as well , I still have your bass line here somewhere for that song we did :lol:

Thanks everyone for your kind words

Trev.. :wink:

KenRogers
Thanks for the effort dude , send me a sample of how you think your lyrics fit dude , nothing wrong in experimenting I suppose

I don't sing. But if you read the lyrics as you listen to the song, I think you'll see how it fits.
The syllables mesh with the beat. It works best with the slower strumming part of the song.
Of course, heart wrenching violins in the background would help this sad lament. 8)
Thanks for the reply. 8)

OK, here's some alternate lyrics for your song, Trev.
Dylan came up with most of the lyrics but he wouldn't post it.
He's expecting me to be kicked out of this forum for posting so much crap.
(I thought I posted good crap!) :shock:
Sorry, Dylan. I changed my mind. I AM posting it.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6230833

Anyway, it's called KFC Lament
(Wait for the slow part and then read the lyrics)

KFC
Is where I went
For some chicken
Four dollars spent

I ordered chicken
Beans and French fries
I like dark meat
Asked for just thighs

In a hurry
I ordered it to go
It didn't matter
They were still slow

I can't believe
Another hour spent
It's been forever
Since my order sent

I finally got
My chicken snack
Went on home
But had to go back

I had time
To write this song
Because KFC
Got my order wrong

The sun has set
Times a tickin'
I'm still waitin
For my (fricken) chicken

I'm lovin' this song, Trev.
Ya know you've got several fans here.

KennyRogers

Thanks for the lyrics dude very much appreciated and well liked , I am thinking I should post my lyrics but my playing isn't ready for it to be sung yet :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :(

Bugger it here are the words anyway ....

Its a song dedicated to all those people who have given me help on the forums ...

Thank you

Thank you for the time you have given me
I know my type is just words across your screen
And things are not always what they seem to be
So thank you for the time that you give to me

I'm not the most talented person in this world
My lack of knowledge seems to be my only words
So I try to act the clown and I fool around
Friendships formed can be so tightly bound

I know there are issues for you behind the scenes
I only hope at night you have beautiful dreams
And not waking up in sweats like in some movie scene
For a heavy heart is something no one needs

Thank you for the time you have given me
I know my type is just words across your screen
And things are not always what they seem to be
So thank you for the time that you give to me