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"Winter Nights"- New Original

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(@elisa)
Posts: 1
New Member
Topic starter
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZ8YbmLARxY

My friend and I just played music together for the first time a few days ago and recorded this song. I'm really happy with how it turned out but I just wanted to hear some feedback from other people. I know the violin part is a bit too loud, and the quality on this youtube video isn't so great. Regardless, I'd appreciate your opinion! Thanks. Here are the lyrics:

Swam with the sun in the summer air
These empty bottles, they are klinking in despair
Smokey rooms waiting silently for long december nights
wallpaper faded in the august light

These lungs are weary with humidity
october lies in the west eagerly
this pavement cracked
this pallet parched
that summer sun now glaring harsh
along the pennsylvania interstate

winter nights come and lay down by my side
I am drowning
I am floundering in the sunshine
Autumn rain, lay your leaves upon the summer's grave
this heatwave lingers like a poltergeist

I let the smoke trail from my lips.
And brushed the dust from my cracked fingertips
I found the perfect song to play
And watched the daylight fade to grey
The autumn beckons me with a sweetness

Winter nights come and lay down by my side
I am drowning I am floundering in the sunshine
Autumn rain, lay your leaves upon the summer's grave
This heatwave lingers like a poltergeist.

And somewhere there in between
the april rain and december freeze
I might find a place for love in me
But every day it's harder to believe.

 
Posted : 05/09/2010 8:20 am
 jcp
(@jcp)
Posts: 52
Trusted Member
 

Yes, I think the violin is too loud, and the main voice should be right in front, even if the violin were less loud. The song is great, it should have more work, I like the 2 voices concept. Mix it again, it deserves it :wink:

http://www.facebook.com/juancarlosportillog

 
Posted : 05/09/2010 6:40 pm
 Nuno
(@nuno)
Posts: 3995
Famed Member
 

+1 on the JCP comments.

Great song. Mix it and post again.

Congrats.

 
Posted : 12/09/2010 9:07 am