In the moment...

You don't think about mistakes (they're going to happen), about what you're going to play next, about anything.

Nicely put. That's it for me too.

After reading Cat's original post, and Dogbite's great response, I've been trying to figure it out too. I kept coming back to the word "Expectations" - because they're the biggest cause (for me anyway) of NOT getting into the moment.

I've always been a noodler and improviser so mistakes and wrong paths are completely inevitable and I don't fear them. Every odd step or weird decision just becomes an opportunity to see how quickly or effectively I can turn it around, or find a new way of using whatever happened. But as my limited skills slowly improved I did notice that my expectations were going up, and I was getting tenser about it all - and that was a sure fire 'in-the-moment killer'. So whenever that happens I just go back to really simple again. No pre-chosen song, no chord sheet or melody line, just set up a little rhythm with a few notes or a couple of cords and go anywhere... or nowhere.... The hard thing about 'going with the moment' is that the more experienced I get then the more expectations I can load up about how it should be going.

Hi again,

Sorry if I'm overdoing my allowance here, but this is an intriguing subject.

This may not be directly pertinent to Cat, but I think that it's part of the same thing. A neighbour recently retired after a long and successful career which saw him end up as Head of a department at the local Conservatorium. He has a studio in his garden, where he used to escape to practice and work, so I fully expected him to be making good use of it now he has the time. When I asked how he was enjoying having unlimited time for his music his answer stunned me. He said he hadn't touched his instrument since retiring.

When I asked why he gave me two reasons. The first was that after decades of living and breathing music day after day as teacher, endlessly getting himself cranked up to pass on knowledge and enthusiasm to students he just felt like a total break from it all. I guess that once he got the chance to put the load down it must have felt like he was suddenly running on empty. Instead, he threw himself into local organisations such as Rotary (where he soon became a leading figure) and the Volunteer Bush-Fire Brigade.

Some weeks later I tentatively asked him again if he'd got back into playing at all. This second answer was also intriguing. He told me that he'd begun again in a very small way. Apparently he'd been talked into a couple of casual fun social performances with some of the new circle, but wasn't planning anything more than that. His admission - which I thought showed a lot of understanding and honesty - was that in his hey-day he was a really good player and he really didn't like the idea of being just an old shadow of his former self. I guess that age and general wear and tear does tend to take the edge off both the physical capability and the artistic hunger of the best of us... However, round here, 99.9% of the people who would hear him play wouldn't know the difference between a great trumpet player and a merely good one. But I guess he'd know. So taking a break and re-aligning his approach is probably a natural thing to do.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure that he'll work his way back, and rediscover his own ‘zen of playing'. But I suspect that he'll also have adjusted his feelings a bit, and when he gets ‘into the moment' it will be a different kind of moment. Not necessarily of lesser quality, but somehow a little different in mood and execution.

Maybe that's a possible answer? I've also seen people report success at rejuvenating their ability to get into the music in that way by doing things like going back to the beginning again with a completely different instrument, a switch to an unfamiliar genre of playing, or even a new job/home/love affair, etc. If the old groove is getting a bit worn... cut a new one and let the old one lie fallow for a while...

Apologies if that's all wide of the mark of the original topic.

Cheers,

Chris

Usually the phrase goes "..lose oneself (or yourself) in the moment..." and that "losing oneself" is probably the biggest part of it and also the hardest thing for a lot of people. While playing it all of a sudden has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the music and the giving of the music from head, hands and heart to whoever's ears are receiving. You don't think about mistakes (they're going to happen), about what you're going to play next, about anything. Like being on autopilot except you're not even aware of being on autopilot because you're also caught up in actively and intently listening, and consequently experiencing it all, too.

Being in the moment is being part of something a lot bigger. Being comfortable enough with your own playing (and, if the situation calls for it, with the playing of those with whom you're playing) is where it starts. Then being willing to bargain in good faith that, whatever happens next, the music will carry you through. Even though you're putting everything of yourself out there, it's about not getting anything back. Although what you get back is the best part of playing.

I know this is rather zen and doesn't truly address the "what do I do to get there" part, but Dogbite's right. You just play. Without question, without hesitation, without expectations. Play for the music and it will come to you. In spades.

Hope you get it all back real soon, Cat.

Peace

very well written David.

Geez! I guess I went "public" with this 58 year old's midlife crisis!!! :oops:

I've come across many topics here on GN that relates to my querry...and they all seem to boil down to "keeping your eye on the ball"...but not TOO much "eye on the ball"! (Hope that makes sense...)

Had my Friday Rotary lunch...and talked to a Sport Psychologist I've known for eight or ten years about the matter. If you GN readers remember...Australia has MANY Gold Olympians from the Gold Coast area that, well, can swim! He's "treating" more than a few of them for their angst over "life after 'lympics". In a nutshell...it seems we're all our own worst enemies and, indeed, it's easier than you think to have "success" ruin many aspects of your life...which, in turn, intrudes in that "little place in the back corner of your mind where you really live". Hoisted by your own pittard...

So...Chris! NOW I understand that avatar pic you've got on the GN postings. I've remarked more than a few times that your verandah and gaggle of strings looked quite comforting to me for some reason. Why it took so long for the penny to drop, I dunno!

Okay...when Monday hits I'm putting in "notice" that I'm not renewing any contracts as of the start of the next fiscal year...1st July. No-one's gonna be welcomed to a "piece of me" other than my family...and I'm gonna start "sittin' 'round the shanty, mama (etc)". Maybe it's time I write and play for myself...without a deadline...or some ad agency producer (AKA: "jackass") telling deciding if it's all "good enough"...which REALLY means "is it silly enough"!

Maybe I should learn to cook!

Cat

Wow great thread, lots of applicable insight here.

Hi Cat,

Interesting to hear about your chat with the sport psych. I've noticed that every time time anybody wins a medal, championship flag or whatever, the journos ask the same dumb question about "How do you feel right now?..." and always seem to get the same slightly bemused answer "It hasn't sunk in yet...". What seems to be obvious to everybody but them is that the major thing that's going to have to sink in is that the dot on the horizon that they've focused their whole lives obsessively on for the past few years has just vanished, leaving a rather large hole. No amount of trophies can replace an entire way of living, and transition is a big challenge in itself.

As you say, it's a great chance to explore some of those other things you were always going to try one day.... I ran through a few things in quick succession - such as more community involvement, plus various radio controlled toys, the obligatory old farts' sports car, writing several whole paragraphs of the world's next great novel, etc etc. Much of it gone now, but the good stuff with family and friends keeps increasing, and the learning to play and sing has stuck too.

All the best with the next stage that you're planning. It's kind of scary, but plenty have been known to survive... :wink:

So...Chris! NOW I understand that avatar pic you've got on the GN postings. I've remarked more than a few times that your verandah and gaggle of strings looked quite comforting to me for some reason. Why it took so long for the penny to drop, I dunno!

Cat
I'll put another chair out for you.... :)

Cheers,

Chris

Hi Cat, the major thing that's going to have to sink in is that the dot on the horizon that they've focused their whole lives obsessively on for the past few years has just vanished, leaving a rather large hole. No amount of trophies can replace an entire way of living, and transition is a big challenge in itself. Chris

Boy, ya got that right! I'm a bit intimidated as I look around at everybody...seeing how tough things are getting ($$$) for seemingly everyone, everywhere...and here I am...going to toss it all in! My accountant was over today...I've known him over twenty years...and I asked him over the barby "if it was cool for me to retire". Geez, he said I coulduh done that five years ago! So Tuesday (here) is Monday everywhere else...and I hope I don't chicken out between now and then!

Oddly enough, I'm now playing more free-form stuff...on my acoustic, of all things! Imagine that!

Yeah, Chris...that obligatory Old Fart's Sports Car sounds good! Why not!

Cat

Cat. I am dying to retire. but it looks like I will do what I have done all my life...stand on my feet and use my hands to earn an income. that isn't all bad. I define a part of myself by that.
why I wish to retire is to be able to spend the time I have left doing what brings me creative fulfillment. lately that is music.
although my gallery wants more paintings I find myself more and more behind the microphone.
Cat. I hope your plans pan out. I hope you find the way to follow your bliss.

btw. I am thinking up a song that needs some steel work. I want to tap you.

Cat. I am dying to retire. but it looks like I will do what I have done all my life...

There ya go! THAT the core of my ever-tougher time getting "into the moment". "I am DYING to retire". I mean, what's the point??? Yeah...DYING to retire! Sheesh! The young newbies running their eyeballs over this post don't realise how the sand in the hourglass starts getting rather thinned out, no matter what! But...neither of us took any shortcuts to get here, Randy. I remember Woodstock like it was yesterday...but it wasn't!

Hey, I've never made any bones about my life...I'm pretty much an uneducated bum! But six strings have been quite good to me since I was thrown "into the deep end" as a mid teen. (I couldn't have set myself up better for retirement unless I was in politics. :shock: ) I can do things on it that cause some to say "wow" but me to think "eh. big deal". So maybe it's time for some "me time"...time to fix some things. I can't read music...or play the piano. Obviously, it's time to teach an Old Dog some new tricks.

"Dying" to retire. Boy, that hurt! :?

Cat

I remember Woodstock like it was yesterday...but it wasn't!

:mrgreen:

That's familiar....

When I joined a local choir - to force myself to practice singing - I looked through the songbooks and was reassured to notice that we weren't going to be singing a lot of clunky 'old time' stuff, but had some reasonably modern music in the book. Songs I already knew from when they came out, so they had to be pretty recent, eh? Then I looked at the copyright dates at the bottom. All My Loving by The Beatles - who doesn't know that, and as fresh now as when it was written in - WHAT! - 1963. That's not really 46 years ago is it? Must be a misprint... What about Unchained Melody - still going strong for the Righteous Brothers - written as recently as.... 1954.... Geez!! That's WELL OVER HALF A FRICKIN' CENTURY ago.

It's official. I'm now an old geezer turning up to the local church hall once a week to sing songs from half way through last century. :shock:

And whaddya know - I'm loving it. The choir leader is a highly trained pianist who has played in everything from orchestras to Jazz and Blues bands. He's got us singing tighter and cooler every week.... I've learned to read music. I now play the piano, the guitar, the clarinet and the sax - and nobody gives a damn that my range goes from appalling to barely mediocre. I'm a legend in my own lounge-room.... :wink: (Oh, and I kept the sports car too. Fortunately it's bright yellow, so everybody else can see me coming and take evasion action, even if they do look a bit out of focus to me now as I head in their direction...)

Relax Cat - it's not that bad. :)

Cheers,

Chris

I remember Woodstock like it was yesterday. trouble is I look more like the old farmers scratching their heads in wonderment, rather that the young men and women all skinny and half naked.

Cat. it is true the sand is getting thin in the clock. there is time yet to learn. it will create new brain cells. truth.
now is the perfect time to learn piano. it's never too late.
I began karate at age 54. two years later I was six months away from getting a black belt, but then I had an injury, had to stop.
regardless, I am in better physical strength because of trying.

Yeah...it's all cool. Going to look for a mandolin today...which I hope to remember as "what I bought the day I retired"!

Truth be told...it was the passing of a good buddy a week ago that got me into this mode. Another great soul sacrificed to the tobacco gods. Just 53. Horrific last month for him, too. He went nuts the last couple of weeks. Pitiful. Good twleve string player...

Cat

Cat, sorry to hear of your loss. 53 is way too young. it is natural to begin to feel the sense of mortality when people close to us pass on. never for a moment regret the passing of years of our lives. the past is past. cannot be changed. deep down, I believe that people make those choices with the best intentions using what they have to work with at the moment. using our experiences the next decisions are supposed to go easier. I don't know who wrote that book. the important things in life are not easy. sometimes painful. we're all better for it.
I love the book 'The Little Prince". there is a line in there that has always stuck me. to paraphrase..'what is essential is often invisible'

Wow, reading this post had reminded me of the lyrics to an Alan Jackson song Remember When, I'm sure alot of you have heard it before.
Remember When lyrics

Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookn' back it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are,
Where we've been
Said we'd do it all again
Remember when
Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when

Of course I'm only 30 and I know alot of you will say "that's still young" and yeah, it is, I plan on being around quite a while (unless 2012 turns out to be true, but why worry about that). But I kind of had that moment of WTF whered teh time go when I heard Bon Jovi played on a classic rock station and realized that when You Give Love a Bad Name came out I was in Kindergarten. Yeah, okay, you can laugh now.

Anyway, if you haven't heard the song by Alan Jackson, take a listen on the YouTube, simple but powerful lyrics.

Hey, ya know it's been quite some time since I stepped onto the information highway and I gotta say that this GN site's one of the best redeeming values of the whole show. Cool...all you people are genuine souls.

BUT!!! Here I go: DON'T smoke! I KNOW some of you freakin' idiots do...but DON'T! Your "end" may be simple enough for you...but not for those that want you around.

I mean, I feel like punching a wall or something...a really GREAT bloke carked it thanks to Benson & Hedges. He gave me his 12 string on Easter Sunday. He tuned it and told me to keep an eye on the harmonic D: "it slips". I can't even LOOK at it let alone think of playing on it. Aw, crap...

Cat