One Horse Town
Hot summer day
And I'm feeling really down
I've been trying to find my way
Out of this one horse town
The days are getting longer
And the sun is beating down
I cant find no relief
In this one horse town
I've gotta get away (run away, run away)
I've gotta get away (run away, run away)
I've been kickin' and a'screamin'
But the walls aint comin' down
Help me find a way
Out of this one horse town
Cold winter tears
I'm listenin' to the sounds
Of high school football cheers
This whole place has shut down
The streets are gettin' shorter
And the grass is turnin' brown
Lord, I feel I'm trapped
In this one horse town
I've gotta get away (run away, run away)
I've gotta get away (run away, run away)
I've been kickin' and a'screamin'
But the walls aint comin' down
Help me find a way
Out of this one horse town
I wanna drink with movie stars
And dance to a rock n roll sound
My destiny aint in this corner bar
It's past the city limits
Of this one horse town
Oh, I've gotta get away
from this one horse town
Hi, Jaretta,
Excellent post. Your verses have a clear, clean flow and loads of imagery (very important in a song).
One question:
What did you have in mind with the line The streets are gettin' shorter ?
Perhaps, change to The streets days are gettin' shorter That sort of evokes the singer's feeling of urgency to leave.
I know you mention days growing longer in verse one, but I think it's more powerful to think of them growing shorter (in verse two), so if you only want to talk about 'days' once, consider doing so only in the second verse.
Overall, I enjoyed this song a lot, and I look forward to reading your shots at the various weeks' assignments.
- silly putty
Thanks for the comments!!
I'm going to look a bit more at the song and see how I might change it to incorporate your suggestion. I was kind of going for a feel of how everything was starting to close in on me with that line
"The streets are gettin' shorter "
but i can see your point. Thanks again, I'm looking forward to working with this group!! If I can ever get the system to let me register <growl>.
Jaretta
Thanks for the comments!!
I'm going to look a bit more at the song and see how I might change it to incorporate your suggestion. I was kind of going for a feel of how everything was starting to close in on me with that line
"The streets are gettin' shorter "
but i can see your point. Thanks again, I'm looking forward to working with this group!! If I can ever get the system to let me register <growl>.
Jaretta
Jaretta:
This is a wonderfully written lyric. Frankly (and no offense to silly putty) , but I really liked "the streets are getting shorter."
As the singer gets older and thinks of getting out of the small town, the spaces start to close in--main street seems like a driveway. I thought it was a great image.
The days, then, would be getting longer as things that used to fill them are not interesting any more. Days get long, town gets smaller, grass turns brown--time to run away!
I worry that "one horse town" is too much of a cliche. Perhaps it isn't...I'm not familiar with any other uses. Perhaps it is such a good line that it just feels like a cliche, in which case this is going straight to the top of the country charts.
My only comment is to wonder about the last verse. Being different than the other two verses--is that intentional? Is it to provide a different ending? In that case it might work. This may be a case where the music makes it work.
Great song. Good luck getting registered!
What up Jaretta,
I wouldnt change a thing about the short streets. Anyone who's grown up in a small town KNOWS exactly what you mean. And your last verse kicks A$$, its just in the wrong spot. But its a little hard to find a good spot for it with whats here. Maybe put a chorus after it or a solo with the same chord progression as the chorus. OR you could make it the chorus. (It DID strike me as the strongest, most memorable, segment of the song.) And make your original chorus the bridge. Yeah that'll work. I think?
Im just confusing myself now.
Later,
Rbert
