Y13W10 A New Key
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13014084
=====Revised Version=====
I’m moving out and moving on
One last look before I’m gone
I won’t miss this tear stained floor
I’m not living here anymore
Chorus
There’s a new key waiting for me
A new key
A new key
There’ll be hugs when I arrive
Love is waiting inside
When I walk through that door
I’ll be home for sure
chorus
instrumental
chorus
=====Original Version=====
I’m moving out and moving on
One last look before I’m gone
I won’t miss this tear stained floor
I’m not living here anymore
Chorus
There’s a new key waiting for me
A new key
A new key
There’ll be hugs when I arrive
Love is waiting inside
When I walk through that door
I’ll be home for sure
chorus
instrumental
chorus
I’m ready to unlock the future
I’m ready to start a life with you
Hi James
Liked this from the very first line. It's spare and feels both personal and universal. And the melody / accompanying music fit the lyrical feel quite well.
Believe it or not, even though it's short, I can see you totally dropping the last two lyric lines in favor of just the outro solo. It's a case where the last two lines are not only superfluous, but also detract from the connection that the narrator has established with the listener. "Unlock," especially, seems more than a bit of overkill.
Only other suggestion if you truly want more of a "me to you" feel would be to tweak the second verse a bit:
There’ll be hugs when I arrive
Love and laughter waiting inside
Seeing your smile when I walk through that door
Tells me I'm home for sure
Just a thought.
As always, thanks for the listen. And, again as always, I look forward to more.
Peace
Hi David,
Thanks for the listen feedback.
I took your suggestion POOF :mrgreen: lines dropped
-James
