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a really long song ...
 
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a really long song wrote in like...10 minutes

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GAZ-UK
(@gaz-uk)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 148
Topic starter  

ok this is a song about dying,and your trying to tell the person you have left behind that everything will be ok...

im so sorry,its not my choice

v1
leaving home for good this time
no way back even if i want to
im so sorry ive left you behind
i promise ill never forget you

v2
ready to leave an scared to death
this journey will be my last
ill never touch your face again
but the feeling will always last

v3
help me..im scared..i cant leave
help me..prepare.. this journey
ill talk..to you...in your dreams
even though...you cant feel me...

chorus
hold all the good memories inside
keep the pictures in your mind
i have to go
ill hold the thought of your smiles
i wont forget your blue eyes
i have to go

v4
see the message i left for you
see the words written in blue
see the note left on the side
the words are smudged where i cried

v5
angels will be watching over you
theres no need to be afraid
you deserve to know the truth
i wish i could but i cant come back

bridge
im safe up here dont worry for me
i like it here here but want to be there
ill come and visit you in your dreams
ill get to see you smile again

chorus
hold all the good memories inside
keep the pictures in your mind
i have to go
ill hold the thought of your smiles
i wont forget your blue eyes
i have to go

v6
im so sorry for leaving you
but i just couldnt help it
id like to say ill see you soon
be we both know that i'd be lying

thankyou for reading......gaz :D

"people laugh at me because im different...i pity you..because your all the same"


   
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Anonymous
(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 8184
 

It's pretty good. Though why do you have a bridge before the second chorus and not the first?

The song's title is confusing too, but I could be misinterpreting the song. Just these lines:

see the message i left for you
see the words written in blue
see the note left on the side
the words are smudged where i cried

seem to refer to a suicide note, which would mean it is the person's choice to die.


   
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GAZ-UK
(@gaz-uk)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 148
Topic starter  

ahhh yeah...i never really saw it as looking like a suicide note,its basically about dying,but it isnt your choice,and youve left a note behind as in you couldnt use words to tell them,you had to write it,the reason why ive posted it,is so i can work on it so any criticism is welcome :) thanks for the reply

gaz

"people laugh at me because im different...i pity you..because your all the same"


   
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Mike
 Mike
(@mike)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2892
 

I really like it!

BUT, why isn't it the persons choice?
They just wrote a lengthy letter about it, so what happened?
How did the person die?
Was it a "just in case something ever happens to me letter"?

I like it, but now I want to know more..........


   
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