Called "Always for You" for now. Kind of inspired by the Stereophonic's "Long Way Round" theme song.
Wake up late this morning
Walk out the door, it's pouring
Get back on my bike
And ride to the truth
Ride all day and through the night
As the sun comes up it seems alright
Every time I start to feel this way
I just get my bike and ride for days
From sea to sea and back to find
Long-lost friends and all my old lives
And I'll always come back, to you
On my way back to you.
And every inch of abandoned road
And every mile I ever rode
Anything I ever did, I did it for you
And it was always for you.
Hours and hours out in the rain
And miles and miles past fields of grain
Every ride I ever do, I do it for you
It was always for you
Now there's fifty miles left to go
Before I find myself back home
I only came back for you.
Always for you.
Ewan McGregor: I said, "Eve, I want you to look after my wedding ring while I'm away," and she started to cry and I said, "Eve. Eve, I can't wear my ring or I won't get laid on the trip!"
Hi,
I liked it. Read straight of the page, there were a couple of things that I'd probably change a bit when it got to the singing stage, but that's nothing. What I thought it had working nicely for it was that each little section (two lines, half a verse) had a good image going for it that stood on it's own. Involved stories look good on the page, but are harder to carry off well in a song. So a series of small shots that support the overall idea often seem to have a better chance of success. I guess I'd like a bit more information about why the "you" in the song would appreciate all this manic pedalling or motorbiking. Are you riding to get her/him(?) out of your system? Thinking things through? Visiting? Getting fit? Or just that "you" (she?) seems to be dominating everything I do and think about right now, and I'd like you to have this image of me as being all wet and windswept and obsessed by you, in a rather athletic and sexy sort of way (which could go down pretty well...)? Maybe it doesn't matter what your reasons are, and people will put their own spin on it, but I would have liked just a tad more of a clue I guess.
Keep up the good work, and I hope the chord work goes well.
Chris
Hey bud! :D
Wow.... yeah, like this one.
Your earlier lyrical efforts were good; I can see that you have improved though :)
I'm with Chris on the short lines.
Although, I seem to like the vague (mysterious?) approach with lyrics, and am oft times
guilty of the very same in my writing.
There's nothing wrong with having an in depth character or plot line in a song....
Often though (especially since my music is kinda moody too), I'll indulge in simply trying to convey a feeling
or emotion thru my lyrics.... Using them as a sort of 'furthur coloring' to the musical mood.
With Chris, I thought it read well overall.
Though one part seemed to jump out at me on first reading:
"Hours and hours out in the rain
And miles and miles past fields of grain"
The 'fields of grain' part was especially vivid to me (I used to love to ride my old ten-speed when I lived back on the farm lands of Illinois)
For some reason, it struck me as wanting a MORE vivid line than 'miles and miles'.
I know farm land seems to stretch out forever at times....
And you may want to try and give that impression about it here;
Other images that leap into my head about farm fields are: 'Amber waves of grain' and that scene in Forest Gump when
he's on his run (for no real defined reason - A bit of a Zen moment on film :mrgreen: )
.... You know, with the sun set/rise....?
Anyway - I was thinking maybe a word that best describes the feeling of endless fields to you along with a 'colorful'
image of those fields as well....?
Though, that might clash with the starkness of the rest of the song.... Hmmmm....?
Keep up the good work :wink:
Ken
"The man who has begun to live more seriously within
begins to live more simply without"
-Ernest Hemingway
"A genuine individual is an outright nuisance in a factory"
-Orson Welles
'And ride to the Truth'
Aaaaaaahhh....
That's what this is about!
A bike ride induced epiphany 8)
A young mans journey of discovery :)
Seeing that in the first verse has me thinking that perhaps the theme should be carried out in the final verse as well....
'I only came back for you
Always for you'
If you wanted to be obvious about it, you could state how you 'discovered' the 'Truth' on your journey.
Or, less obviously, say how you are 'always true' to the catalyst thru whatever life brings.
I think that the idea of 'truth' needs to be there at the end in some way though :wink:
Ken
ps,
This may sound nitpicky.... the line:
'Before I find myself back home'
Seems to sit a bit better with my ears as:
Before I find myself back (at) home
Just a thought.
"The man who has begun to live more seriously within
begins to live more simply without"
-Ernest Hemingway
"A genuine individual is an outright nuisance in a factory"
-Orson Welles
How about "Endless miles through fields of grain"? Would that fit better?
Thanks for the help guys.
Ewan McGregor: I said, "Eve, I want you to look after my wedding ring while I'm away," and she started to cry and I said, "Eve. Eve, I can't wear my ring or I won't get laid on the trip!"
How about "Endless miles through fields of grain"? Would that fit better?
Maybe along or your original past instead of through. (in my opinion)
Wake up late this morning
Walk out the door, it's pouring
Get back on my bike Again I mount my bike
And ride to the truth To ride in pursuit of truth
When I read "Get back on my bike" my thought was "When were you last on it?"
I'm not sure if my suggestion is any better though.
Ride all day and through the night
As the sun comes up it seems alright To witness the sun share (or shed) its light
or And through the sun bringing daylight
"alright" seems kind of a casual observation to describe a sunrise
Now there's fifty miles left to go Now not so many miles left to go
Before I find myself back at home
Not sure why I didn't like the specific number (fifty) being specified
And I agree with Ken on the "at home"
I like it.
Good job on the visuals. And the Forest Gump comparison is a good one.
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
The "alright" was not really referring to the sunset; more to one of those moments that make you forget that anything's wrong. Maybe "As the sun comes up everything's alright?"
Okay, let's try this again:
Wake up late this morning
Walk out the door, it's pouring
Mount my bike again
And search for the truth
Ride all day and through the night
As the sun comes up everything's alright
Every time I start to feel this way
I just get my bike and ride for days
From sea to sea and back to find
Long-lost friends and all my old lives
And I'll always come back, to you
On my way back to you.
And every inch of abandoned road
And every mile I ever rode
Anything I ever did, I did it for you
And it was always for you.
Hours and hours out in the rain
And miles and miles past fields of grain
Every ride I ever do, I do it for you
It was always for you
Now not so many miles left to go
Before I find myself back at home
Now I know the truth lies with you
It was always with you.
Ewan McGregor: I said, "Eve, I want you to look after my wedding ring while I'm away," and she started to cry and I said, "Eve. Eve, I can't wear my ring or I won't get laid on the trip!"
I like it.
One more small, itsy bitsy, miniscule (philosophically based) suggestion.
And search for the truth
And search for some truth
I doubt if one bike ride is going go have all truth revealed to you (whatever that is).
But you might be able to snag a few bits . . . each bike ride.
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
'Nother small change...
Wake up late this morning
Walk out the door, it's pouring
Mount my bike again
And search for the truth
Ride all day and through the night
As the sun comes up everything's alright
Every time I start to feel this way
I just get my bike and ride for days
From sea to sea and back to find
Long-lost friends and all my old lives
And I'll always come back, to you
On my way back to you.
And every inch of abandoned road
And every mile I ever rode
Anything I ever did, I did it for you
And it was always for you.
Hours and hours out in the rain
Past endless amber waves of grain
Every ride I ever do, I do it for you
It was always for you
Now not so many miles left to go
Before I find myself back at home
Now I know the truth lies with you
It was always with you.
Chording's almost done, I have my Casino sitting on my lap.
Ewan McGregor: I said, "Eve, I want you to look after my wedding ring while I'm away," and she started to cry and I said, "Eve. Eve, I can't wear my ring or I won't get laid on the trip!"
