I wrote this song about a week ago, looking for an opinion or two. Any feedback would be great. Its an emotional song, think bands like The Used (there lighter stuff) or My Chemical Romance
Beauty Queen
I remember the day
When we hid beneith that wooden bridge
Together
I wish that we could stay
In the moment now
And forever
You were barely a day over fourteen
still a girl at heart, But in my eyes
A beauty queen
I remember the way
that you huddled close to me
trying to stay warm
I can hear the thunder now
and see the lightning
from the storm
you were barely a day over fourteen
Still a girl at heart, But in my eyes
A beauty queen
I remeber the day
That I lost my breath
I surrendered to you
My beauty queen
I remember the day
That I lost my soul
I surrendered to you
My beauty queen
I cant go on
I cant go on
I cant go on
I cant go...
Hopefully someday
these words will reach your ears
For better or for worse
Ive been trying to tell you for years
so let me sing the words
You will always be my queen
you will always be
You will always be my queen
you will always be
My beauty queen
I remember the day that I lost my soul
so long ago....
my songs are registered with the canadian copyright board
pretty good. i could picture the used singing this song, i wouldn't know about my chemical romance i don't listen to them. but its a good song. some of the rhyme sequence seem odd but thats okay.
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"Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained." -John Powell
they are basically a more commercial version of The Used
my songs are registered with the canadian copyright board
i mean i know who they are, i've just never really gotten into them. i'm more into punkish green day type stuff, and a little rock such as alter bridge or nickelback. but ya i know who my chemical romance is.
oh i get it. no worries :wink:
any other opinions or comments?
my songs are registered with the canadian copyright board
The first verse of this song reminded me of the first few lines of the song "she will be loved" by maroon 5, when they sing"Beauty queen of only eighteen"
Special K
