*Note: This is just a very rough draft.
Black Wall
There is a black wall coming after me
And I don't know how to run
There is a black wall coming after me
And I don't know how to run
There is a black wall coming after me
And it's moving pretty fast
I just wanna leave
But I don't think I'm going to last
Hey, I like it. It has a certain rhythm to it and it makes me hear the music in my head, which is a good sign.
The first verse is fairly reptitive and could serve as a chorus. The second verse could serve as... a second verse! I think you need a first verse before it, somehow introduing what is going on, and then end the verse with a word ending on "-ast" or "-assed". I like the lines "I just wanna leave, don't think I'm going to last", they make for a nice resolution, and then hit the chorus.
Good luck!
I like the idea.
How about something like this for the second verse?
There is a black wall coming after me
noone will believe
it's coming after me
I don't know how to flee
It's moving pretty fast
There is a black wall
I don't think that I'll last
KEEP POSTIN'!!!
"Like the coldest winter chill. Heaven beside you. Hell within." -Jerry Cantrell
I like your revision. Though, it is a black wall, per say - it is well anything. Like, anything that is overcoming you, and you can't get away from ex. depression, or some other feeling.
I like your revision. Though, it is a black wall, per say - it is well anything. Like, anything that is overcoming you, and you can't get away from ex. depression, or some other feeling.
