iv been waiting to record this b4 i put up the lyrics so you guys could hear it as well...but im having difficulties with recording and it keeps gettnig delayed...so here it is (lyrics only)
its a song in three parts. finger picked first part. gets louder in part two sweeling at the end of part one, then falls back quiet again for part 3, just when part 3 begins to swell it stops quietly...and ends.
Come Whatever May
Part 1:
I don't wanna talk about what's going on in me
Nothing but a broken laugh and bruised memories
Those thoughts of holding you, were dreams and nothing more
But I'll still catch you if ever you fall,
If you're cut then I'll bleed
When you're sad I'm crying
Will you be remembering me soon?
Or thinking of me thinking of you?
If this pain isn't gone by morning…
I won't wake up (I can't take it)
A shiver runs down my spine, it chills the tears that well inside
Cause I can't run, anymore
If you're cut then I'll bleed
When you're sad I'm crying
Will you be remembering me soon?
Or thinking of me thinking of you?
Part 2:
However far you may be you mean the world to me
And I dream my pain away almost every single day
The solution to misery is always clouded in mystery
But I won't end up that way
I'll be strong come whatever may…
I'll always be there for you whenever you wanted
Even when he's around, and I couldn't show it
Now you know how I feel can we bring this to an end
Come whatever may, but either way I lose you my friend…
Part 3:
Can I hold your hand?
As I see that smile in your eyes
That little glint that tells me…
This ain't over yet
With little things to lean on
If I keep myself afloat,
Love will end with hope…
Can I kiss your lips?
As I hold you close
As you whisper secrets
That you think I should know
I will keep you safe
The safest you could be
The start of something perfect
The start of everything…
This ain't over yet
Please give me a chance
I love you, you know…
So I'll end this with…hope…
and the best thing is...it flows well and is catchy :D im very happy with it!
it reads pretty kewl mate, can't wait to hear it! :D
Howdy coleclark. here's my $-.02 input:
Here, the tenses are inconsistent:
If you're cut then I'll bleed (future tense)
When you're sad I'm crying (present tense)
Will you be remembering me soon?
Or thinking of me thinking of you?
Suggestion:
If you're cut, then I'll bleed =6 (future tense)
If you're sad, I'll be crying too =8 (future tense)
Please do this thing, I plead =6
Just think of me thinking of you =8
-----------------------------------------------
I don't wanna talk about what's going on in me(what's going on with meis more expected to be heard)
Nothing but a broken laugh and bruised memories (wounded memories would match the 2-syllable 'broken')
Those thoughts of holding you, were dreams and nothing more
But I'll still catch you if ever you fall (on the floor)
------------------------------------
A shiver runs down my spine, it chills the tears that well inside (that well up inside, good opposite of 'down my spine')
--------------------------------
I'll always be there for you whenever you wanted (whenever you want it- matches 'show it') (future tense)
Even when he's around, and I couldn'tshow it(present and past tenses here)
(Even if he's around, I'll tryto show it) (future tense)
Now you know how I feel can we bring this to an end
(Now that you know how I feel, can we bring this to an end)
Come whatever may, but either way I lose you my friend…
------------------------------
If I keep myself afloat,
Love will end with hope… (love should be the end result of hope)
Suggestion:
If I keep my head above
Then hope will end in love
Kingwood Kowboy
Author of over 6,600 song lyrics
http://www.kingwoodkowboy.com/
coolish thanks.
i didnt however really want the song to follow what people 'think' theyre going to hear. to me being able to predict a song is someones failing to write it well. not all the time but most. avoiding the obvious phrase to write
i dont think its an issue with the chorus tenses. and much prefer wha ti had written originally but the tenses in some other places may need to be fixed to make more sense. particularly the end lines.
I don't wanna talk about what's going on in me(what's going on with me is more expected to be heard)
in me makes so much more sense
Nothing but a broken laugh and bruised memories (wounded memories would match the 2-syllable 'broken')
i actually pronounce bruised 'bru-ised' in the song and it matches the two syllables without sounding odd
Those thoughts of holding you, were dreams and nothing more
But I'll still catch you if ever you fall (on the floor)
theres no real reason to write 'on the floor' as it just makes things sound...generic. and isnt what im catching her from anyways
A shiver runs down my spine, it chills the tears that well inside (that well up inside, good opposite of 'down my spine')
good point! i like it
in other places words like 'that' need to be lost if there not absolutely needed because the line doesnt flow properly otherwise
thanks for your support!
You're quite welcome.
As I readily acknowledge, only you, the writer/songer
really knows how the song should be.
I had fun with the chopping/cutting anyway.
Kingwood Kowboy
Author of over 6,600 song lyrics
http://www.kingwoodkowboy.com/
