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Dead End Road (tell me what you think)

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(@notled)
Active Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 6
Topic starter  

Last day of school
All exited for the campin party
Were all on time and headin out

Drivein down that dead end road
Feelin good to see old friends
Jokeing and goofin all day long
This dead end road keeps getting closer

Its mid afternoon
My cuz, the hose is leavin
Im stuck alone

Driveing down that dead end road
Not to great to be with friends
Jokein goofin at how they act
This dead end road is comeing in

Its almost midnight
Me and the sober guys
Keeping the wasted in line

Drivein down that dead end road
Wishin I were home with the family
Still jokein at how they cat, my concern is growing stronger
The dead end road is right in front of me

Its mornin now
Im at home, takein the blame
For the buds that done wrong

Drivein down that dead end road
Their no longer my friends
Praying to god for his help
The roads still Dead, so I part ways

Walkin back from that dead end road
Soon to be hated by old friends
With no care to them, i keep walkin

Drivein down a bran new road
Dont know what's comein
Hopein my name is to be cleared
Ill keep Drivein, faith can only get stronger

Its a first so dont hound me to hard lol.
*OUCH* i said not so hard! lol :lol:


   
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(@pierson)
Reputable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 367
 

You're story and the concept of going down the bad road and finding the right one was great. But the begining of the song started as if you were writing a book. Use words that are more eye-grabbing and powerful. Keep the listener wanting to hear the rest of the song! It may just be me, and it sounds good the way you sing it, but I wouldn't know that.

Andy
P.S. I think it takes a lot of guts to put your songs out for the public to listen to! I'm trying to but I'm new to Guitar Noise and am not sure how! Keep writing. It's a shame to waste talent.

There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!


   
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(@notled)
Active Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 6
Topic starter  

wow, this threads been here since like june? how come it was just noticed? anyway, thanks for your advise, I gave that song to my old girlfriend along with about 10 other songs that i wrote befor i moved, but I'll edit this song when i get home and see what you think of it then.

Posting songs on the net is kind of risky, someone can always steal them and use them as theirs, personally Im just trying to trust people, and I have such a low self esteem that i didnt really think anyone would like this song, oh yea, the song is based on a true event, my cousin had the party.


   
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(@lotto-king)
Prominent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 777
 

to truely know if one has it , it must be identified .
if it is song writting
That question can only be answered by you
ask your self this question ," Can I write a song that will please a audience ?"
We are all here trying to compose { lyrics / music} to try and better our skills and bring writting to the for front of music .
Have you got it have I got it and who actually does have it
Your song reads well for me , I tried putting some chords to it and it seemed to flow okay.
I am sorry I can not answer your question if you have it
But your here trying like everybody else
So keep it up and hopefully it comes your way
cheers

Aghhhh

Not only am I a senior citizen

I'm now a bloody senior member

Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?

over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )


   
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(@notled)
Active Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 6
Topic starter  

So you actually put chords to my song!? care to tell me the pattern and order for it? maybe I can get it officially a song instead of just lyrics, i tried useing Em G7 C and D and it seemed to work but I dont know if I like it much.


   
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(@lotto-king)
Prominent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 777
 

I truely hate this I post something and some one wants to know what chords I used , so I don't exactly recall but I tried again and this is what I came up , this time I wrote them down instead of relying on my ageing grey matter, we are very close to each other in structure

EM-D-C-G-C-D

Hope it helps

Aghhhh

Not only am I a senior citizen

I'm now a bloody senior member

Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?

over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )


   
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