This song needs lots of editing, but i can't really figure it out......i'm hoping someone can help me out here, eh?
Play me a song
One that I've never heard
I won't sing along
‘cause I don't know the words
and everyone has a secret
but we've got all night
we don't really want to know
and baby it's all right
looks like they'll have to just figure us out
all the things we decide not to tell
although I've tried so many times
saying good-bye's easy, but leaving is hell
odd moments we've stolen
the rare Thursday morning
a few Sunday nights in a row
and I don't wanna tell you goodbye
so I'll creep back inside
instead of watching you go
2 a.m., it's late
but I don't wanna wait
‘til morning to hear you again
finally we turn in
One day I know
I'll wake up with you
Not so far in the future
Nothin they can do
But for now I'll just listen
To the music you made
If I can, fall asleep
Dream of our days
I'll write it all down on paper
But then throw it away so they don't know
That every time you go
I call you up on the phone
Just wanted to say
Hello
Do not disturb the sleeping dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
ok
The first verse is excellent. It just doesn't work with the rest of the song, so I'd keep it for another song.
2nd verse - knock out the "ands" and the "but" at the start of the lines, then swap lines 2 and 4.
everyone has a secret
baby it's all right
we don't really want to know
we've got all night
3rd verse - split the lines and make two verses
looks like they'll have to just
figure us out
all the things we de-
cide not to tell
Although I've tried
so many times
saying good-bye's easy
leaving is hell
Similarly in the 4th verse - why Thursday btw. Why not Sunday?
Odd moments we've stolen
the rare Thursday morning
a few Sunday nights in a
row
Don't wanna tell you goodbye
so I'll creep back inside
instead of watching you
go
And similarly in the final verse
I'll write it all
down on paper
Then throw it away so they don't
know
Every time you go
I call you up on the phone
Just wanted to say
Hello
Relatively painless methinks. Whaddya reckon?
Best,
A :-)
"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk
I like what Alan has done with the song. He took and preserved the real meaning of the song quite nicely.
I also agree that the first verse does not fit. There is no further reference to playing or singing a song in the rest of the song. I think it will be a great starter for another song though, I think it would fit as a great chorus (Billy Joel spings to mind).
well done Alan
The original did need tweeking and thought you did a terrific job .
snpeden just take onboard of what Alan has done and see what you can come up with now ..
Maybe you can do some more tweeking ?
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Thanks, Alan...i really like the way you've switched it around, and now it goes even better with the music i had for it in my head.
Do not disturb the sleeping dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Pleasure.
A :-)
"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk
